Miracles and Mischief
by Esme Mom Cullen
Summary: What if Carlisle & Esme were granted the wish that was always out of reach? The Cullen's learn that Renesmee isn't the only type of miracle that exists in the world. FORNICATIN' FATHER'S DAY WINNER: FAN FAVE, BEST LEMON, HOST'S CHOICE! Now multi-chapter!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**

**This first chapter was written as a one-shot entry for the 2011 TwiFicDataBase's Fornicatin' Father's Day Contest. It was the First Place Fan Favorite Winner! It also was awarded the Host's Choice and Best Lemon! **

**With much encouragement from my readers, the story has become a multi-chapter fic as of September 15, 2011. **

**Summary of the one-shot: What if Carlisle and Esme were granted the one wish that was always out of reach? The Cullen's learn that Renesmee isn't the only type of miracle that exists in the world. This Father's Day, Carlisle has a new reason to celebrate, and revels in the delights of the changes in his wife. **

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><p><em>Carlisle's POV<em>**  
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There was a gentle hum of conversation and video games as I walked through the front door, happy to be home after a long and busy night at the hospital. I set down my medical bag by the stairs before popping into the living room to greet my children.

"Happy _Father's_ Day, Carlisle," Alice said before I was even fully into the room. I grinned at her inflection.

"Thank you, Alice," I said, not making any attempt to hide my pride.

A round of the same call came from Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Bella. I looked around for the other members of our family. It must have been too early.

"She's sleeping, Carlisle," Edward spoke quietly from across the living room on the couch with Bella at his side.

Emmett's eyes never left the screen as he challenged Jasper to some fighting video game, their wives watching their every move. Alice's face reflected every next move before it happened.

"She's resting up, Dad," Emmett said with a chuckle. "She wants to make sure you have a great Father's Day."

"Emmett, shut up," Jasper said, as he tossed the controller to his wife. She was expecting it and caught it, knocking out Emmett's character with few flicks of the buttons.

"That's not fair!" Emmett whined as Jasper approached me and Edward jumped up to speak to me as well. I turned to exit back out into the foyer with my two sons at my heel. We crossed the hall into the office.

"Do you have anything to report? Is she okay?" I asked anxiously.

Edward grinned. "She's fine, Dad. Jasper just wanted to give Emmett a well-deserved hard time."

"She's emitting nothing but happiness. No bad dreams tonight," Jasper confirmed.

"Definitely not. When I've peeked in on her dreams there has been nothing but mirth," said Edward.

"That's a relief to hear," I said as I felt calmer without Jasper's assistance.

"I think it was just a phase, Carlisle. She had a bout of worry and it manifested itself in her dreams. She's been feeling fantastic for several weeks," assured Jasper.

"Renesmee is going to be up soon, so Bella and I are heading out."

"And the rest of us will give you and Esme some space this morning," added Jasper.

"Thank you. If there's nothing else, then I'm going to head upstairs."

I followed them out into the hall and stopped Edward. "Happy Father's Day, Son."

He grinned and gave me a hug. "Thanks, Dad, and same to you. Just wait until next year."

"I'm pretty happy and blessed this year and have been for many years," I assured him.

Edward chuckled. "Go see Mom. She'll be waking up soon."

I nodded and headed for the stairs. For more than ninety years the only Cullens to ever sleep were Bella Cullen when she first joined this family, and then my unique granddaughter who actually required it. How strange it was that after all this time, my wife now required rest.

Renesmee had been a miracle that was beyond our wildest imaginations. The thought of her being able to exist, that such a creature could be created, had not crossed my mind or my path in more than three hundred sixty years of existence. She bewildered us all and seemed, in many ways, to restore the idea of faith to different degrees in my children and my wife. This latest miracle not only further instilled that faith, but was a confirmation of things way beyond our realm of understanding.

We knew from our friend Nahuel that very few hybrids existed, and other than Renesmee, Nahuel and his sisters were the only ones. We didn't expect there to be an evolutionary step beyond these few beings. _What did we know?_

Earlier this year we had ventured to South America to visit our friends. Renesmee had been excited to spend time with Nahuel. There was a special bond between them formed by their rareness. Nahuel and Huilen had not been alone when we found them. Senna, Zafrina, and Kachiri had been there to greet us as well, along with Nahuel's half-sister Maysun, whom we had not met before. Maysun was cautious at first, but as all do, she quickly warmed up to our granddaughter. It was only then that she was willing to share with us her secret, and it was one that confounded us all.

Maysun had a daughter. Unbeknownst to Joham or Nahuel, Maysun had mated with a male vampire named Chisisi and had become pregnant sixty years ago. She didn't understand at first why her body was changing, but she and Chisisi quickly realized that the only explanation was that she was with child. Her pregnancy was rather human like, and she carried the child for nine months. From the moment her daughter, Khalida, entered this world Maysun knew she was special, and soon realized she had powers beyond anything Maysun or Chisisi had ever seen. Maysun was frightened for how Joham would react to Khalida and sent her away with Chisisi for her own protection. Only recently had the three been reunited, and she brought them both to South America to meet her half-brother, the family that she seemed to trust more than her father. Khalida had taken nearly twenty years to mature. She may be the most powerful creature I have ever met.

The only word I can use to describe Khalida is magical. She's three-quarters vampire and one quarter human, and her gifts are supernatural. She is beautiful, warm and kind. She has a grace and calmness about her, and she was drawn immediately to my wife. More than any other member of my family, it was Esme that she befriended and was most curious about.

I wasn't privy to all their conversations, but from what Esme has told me, one night Khalida asked her what she would wish for if she could have one wish come true. There had always been one thing she desired that I could not give her: a child. She said the conversation ended with Esme telling Khalida that she accepted that having a child was not possible. Khalida's response was that she was granting her the gift of what she most desired and wished her a good evening.

The conversation left Esme a bit bewildered. She wondered if something was slightly off in Khalida's mind. The next day, Esme and I left our family to head to Isle Esme for a week before returning to Forks. We spoke in length about our interactions with our friends on the first part of the trip, but she did not tell me about Khalida's wish granting because by then she had decided it was nonsense.

Within a few weeks of returning home, something was off with Esme. She just didn't seem herself. One afternoon she went up the stairs with a load of freshly laundered bedding. An hour later I was reading the newspaper. Bella was working with Renesmee on improving their Portuguese language skills with Jacob napping nearby on the couch. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice had gone to the movies. Edward was tinkering at the piano, when he started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Bella called out in Portuguese before I could ask the question.

"I'm sorry. It's Esme. Her mind is wandering in a very strange fashion." He looked over at me. "Has she said anything about trying her hand at caricatures?"

"No, although I'm sure she would be very good at it."

"She's thinking about animated versions of the family. It's quite peculiar, and she seems to be focused on that and nothing else."

I folded up the paper. "I think I'll go find out why she's making cartoon characters out of us."

I called her name gently as I approached our room, but received no response. The door was open, and I was surprised when I found her lying on our bed in the middle of the afternoon.

"Esme, Edward said you are having some very animated thoughts, and I came to see why you are thinking about us in terms of cartoons." There was no response. The piano playing downstairs stopped. "Esme?" She didn't move. I rushed to the bed, calling her name again. Edward entered the room. Her eyes were closed and her mouth hung loose. I shook her shoulder gently as I would to rouse a patient. Her eyes slowly blinked open, and she looked surprised to see me.

"Honey, are you sneaking up on me?"

"No, I called your name several times." _What was wrong with her?_

"Carlisle, she was asleep," Edward said gravely.

"That's not possible," I hissed. He knew vampires could never sleep.

"Edward, what are you talking about?" Esme asked. She tried to justify herself. "I just lay down for a moment. I just felt a little weary."

"You were dreaming for several minutes." Edward's phone alerted him that he had a text message. He looked annoyed as he grabbed it to check it. His expression changed to one of surprise. "Alice says stay calm. Carlisle, don't freak out. Esme is going to be more than fine. She's on her way home."

"She was asleep," I said in disbelief as I took my wife's hand. "We can't sleep."

Edward's phone beeped again. "Alice says she's running home. Carlisle, no freaking out."

Esme was looking at me with a puzzled expression. She wanted an answer, and I couldn't give her one. The only time I had seen vampires appear to lose consciousness was when dealt a deadly blow, and even then, it was thought that their minds were still coherent. _She was asleep._

Bella appeared in the doorway. It was obvious that she had heard the commotion.

"Esme, are you alright?" she asked, pushing past Edward to get to us.

"I…" She didn't know what to say. "I feel mostly normal. I've felt weary recently, but that happens sometimes, right? Edward says I was dreaming…" She looked to me again. I didn't know what to say.

We heard the front door bang, and Alice flew into the room, slamming to a stop, grinning from ear to ear. "Khalida is coming!" she declared.

"What does that have to do with Esme?" I yelled much louder than I would have liked, but it did nothing to change Alice's mood.

"It has everything to do with Esme's condition," she practically sang. "I can tell you the condition, but Khalida is going to explain to you how it came to be."

"What condition?" How could any condition Esme was suffering make Alice so thrilled?

I looked to Edward who already knew what was in Alice's mind. He appeared to be in shock.

"Edward? Alice?" I pleaded.

Alice giggled and bit her lip. "Usually it's the doctor that says this."

My patience was gone. "Alice!"

She took a deep breath and smiled. "Khalida will have to explain the how, but Dr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen, you are having a baby."

"Alice! That's not funny!" Esme yelled. The tension and worry had sunk in for her. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

"Mom, I'm not joking," she said, finally serious. "I wouldn't do that to you. I know it's what you want more than anything. I wouldn't joke about such a thing. You're pregnant, and Khalida had something to do with making it possible. She's on her way to explain."

In a move every mother makes upon finding out she is pregnant, Esme's hand fell to her abdomen. She looked at me, still searching. I was the only doctor she knew that ever treated a woman impregnated by a vampire, but a female vampire impregnated by a male vampire was not possible.

"Alice isn't lying, Carlisle," Edward verified. "What she sees is Esme pregnant."

Esme looked like she would burst into tears if she could. She didn't know whether to rejoice or yell.

I looked in her eyes and calmly asked, "Esme, my love, did Khalida do anything to you?"

"I gave her a gift." No one had heard her approach. Edward and Alice even looked surprised. Khalida stood outside the door to our room. "It was actually for both of you," she said as she stepped into our room. Her countenance was peaceful and happy. "Carlisle, I spoke to your wife at length. You are both so good and have so much, but the one thing your wife desired more than anything was to bring your child into this world."

"It's not possible," I stated again.

"No, it's not," she said with a smirk. "Until it is. Six years ago it was impossible to you that any vampires could become biological parents, but your granddaughter proved that it was possible."

"But there was some logic to that. Bella was still menstruating and was human. She could have children."

Khalida pressed on. "You have seen all kind of gifts over the centuries, Dr. Cullen. Shields, mind readers, mood manipulators, vampires who see the future, cause pain, blindness, and so much more."

"Yes, but nothing that changes the physiology of another being."

"Call me the next evolutionary step. My gift is to make the impossible happen. In a way it's magic, but there is no illusion. What I make happen is real. If I will it to happen, it does, but I find that what I grant once it does not seem possible for me to bestow a second time. Esme will be the only one ever to receive this gift."

"Why me?" Esme asked, her voice shaking with emotion.

"As I told you that night, you have a great heart, Esme Cullen, one of the best I have ever seen, regardless of our kind. And your husband may be the best of our kind of all time. I have never met one such as he, and doubt I will meet one like him ever again. He is all good and compassion and care for his fellow creatures. He loves everyone, but his family more and you above all. You two deserve happiness and peace always. I told you I was giving you what you desired most.

"I touched you and focused on your womb and gave life back to it. You'll bring a baby into this world as women have always done. It will be a nine-month experience. You are still a vampire, but you'll require rest now for the sake of your child. Your body will grow and change as your baby grows inside you. For twelve months, your body will be able to sustain your child, and then it will go back to how it has been since 1921."

"I'm really pregnant?" Esme whispered.

"Yes, you are," Khalida whispered back with an impish grin on her face. Esme was gone from beside me and embracing Khalida.

"I don't know why you think we deserved this above all others of our kind, but I will never be able to thank you enough." She tearlessly sobbed.

"Shhh," Khalida said as she took my wife's cheeks in between her palms. "I told you before. You and your husband have no equal when it comes to family and love. No one else will value this gift as you do and will. I'm happy to give it to you above all others."

I approached Esme's side and as Khalida let her go, I too embraced Khalida. "Thank you for this miracle."

I took Esme into my arms next and just held her, oblivious to everyone else in the room for a moment before Edward asked, "Khalida, thank you for being so generous to Carlisle and Esme. It truly is something that they have longed for always. I do have one question though, what will this child be?"

"That's a reasonable question, Edward. He or she will live their formative years as a human with a few upgrades, and when he or she comes of age, another wish will be granted. At that time you can decide as a family what the future for your child will be. And now I leave you to process this and tell the rest of your family. I will not leave you alone though. I know more questions will arise. I will check in throughout the pregnancy. Carlisle, you are a doctor. Treat your wife no differently that you would treat a human pregnant woman. This experience will be nothing like Bella's. I assure you, it will be as normal as it can be for her."

I looked up to thank her again, but she was already gone, and the children fled right behind her, leaving Esme and me alone. I looked down into her sparkling eyes and was overwhelmed by her emotions and my own.

"Carlisle," she whispered, "you're going to be a daddy."

I adored our children, and I worshipped my wife. At times I felt that I couldn't be more blessed or feel more love, but with those words, I felt my heart expanding.

All of our children were supportive in their own way.

_No child could be luckier than to have you two for parents, and no one is more deserving of this than you. I can't wait to meet my baby brother or sister._

_You both took such good care of me during my pregnancy. I want to help you any way I can. Edward and I will even babysit._

_I never had the calling to be a mom. It's just not who I am, but I love being an aunt, and I'm sure I'll enjoy being a big sister. Esme, we have some shopping to do._

_There've been moments when you two have radiated happiness, but this is something completely different. I can't help but be happy for you. This child is truly blessed._

_I'm happy for you. I really am. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't envious. I know you will be great parents as you already are, but I won't deny that it hurts._

_Alright! Another rugrat! If he or she is anywhere near as fun as Nessie, I'm all for it._

And of course Ness had her own spin.

_Someone younger than me! Although it will be a bit strange to have an aunt or uncle who's in diapers. _

Esme didn't stir as I opened and closed our bedroom door. The early morning light peeked around the curtains.

I removed my coat and tie, placing them on the chair before walking over to the side of the bed to look at my goddess, and what a goddess she was. A glow practically radiated from her pale cheek from the happiness she felt.

She was lying on her left side with her cheek resting on the pillow that my head usually lay on. Her nose was angled slightly down toward the pillowcase. _She had been breathing in my scent._ Her right palm lay flat on the pillow in a position similar to how she often rested her hand and her head against my chest.

Even with the sheet pulled up over her, I could tell that her other palm was resting against her swelling abdomen. Every time I looked at her now, I was overwhelmed by the unbelievable sight — the most beautiful and incredible woman in existence growing round with our child. Our wish. Our miracle.

I sat down gently on the edge of the bed. Assuming that she became pregnant the first time we were together after Khalida granted her wish, she was around eighteen weeks — nearly halfway there — and she was gorgeous. I recently began to understand Edward's obsession with watching Bella sleep when she was still a human.

I resisted the temptation to touch her. I didn't want to wake her, but a moment later her eyelids started to flutter. She yawned, and her golden eyes met mine. She smiled and said, "Happy Father's Day. I'm sorry, I didn't get you a present."

"I think you are giving me the best present I will have ever received in about five months."

"That's why I knew you would forgive me," she said with a shrug and a bigger grin.

I leaned over and kissed her lips. "How are you feeling?"

She wrinkled her nose. "Sleepy. Hungry. And a new feeling, slightly crampy."

"Do you want to hunt?" I asked out of concern for her well being.

She laughed. "Did the kids leave?"

"They said they were heading out and leaving the place to us this morning."

"Then no, I don't want to hunt right now."

"Esme, if you…" She cut me off with wide eyes and a palm signaling me to wait. Her other hand rested on her belly again and then she beamed at me.

In a swift motion she pulled off the sheet revealing the adorable violet baby doll nightie she was wearing. She grabbed the hem, pulling it up revealing matching panties that my eyes couldn't look away from, until she grabbed my hand and held it against the bare skin of her swelling stomach.

"Do you feel that?" she whispered. I didn't feel anything, but then a moment later I did. It was barely a flutter that most likely wouldn't be perceptible to humans, but I could feel it. Our baby was moving inside her. She beamed at me as I'm sure she saw my face react. "He or she is wishing her daddy a happy Father's Day, too."

"Now that's the best present I've ever received," I said. I felt movement again, and from her tiny gasp I knew Esme did too. I moved down the bed and kissed her skin right by where my hand rested. "Hello, little one," I said gently. "It's your daddy. Thank you for saying hi. Your mother and I can't wait to meet you." I felt another movement. "I love you so much." There was one more little quiver, and then it stopped.

I kissed Esme's stomach again and rubbed my nose against her soft flesh. Her scent was changing, or maybe evolving was the better word. What was always there was still there, but something new had been added to it, and it kept getting stronger with time. When I breathed it in it made me feel very protective of her — more so than usual.

"What are you thinking?" she asked as her hand lightly ran over my hair, my face still at her stomach. She teased, "Are you thinking about how fat I'm going to get?"

I grinned as I lifted myself to look down at her, my eyes trailing up and down her body, observing the changes in her physique. She was always perfect — a woman in every way with curves to her hips and thighs, perfect swell of her breasts, and the face of an angel that God had sent to me. There were slight augmentations to all those areas now that human eyes would barely notice, but I, who knew her so well, delighted in. It only enhanced her beauty. The swell of her belly was the most beautiful part of all.

I looked down at her sparkling eyes, her hair fanned out over the pillow under her head, and her lips that I longed to kiss, and said, "I don't know how any man could think of a woman pregnant with their child as anything less than the most gorgeous creature he has ever seen. Your beauty humbles me, Esme. The glow about you and watching you grow with the life we've created; I can't begin to understand what I have ever done to deserve you and this." I gently stroked her abdomen again. I knew the look that she gave me. It was the one when tears would be falling if she could release them. I kissed where they would have fallen. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she whispered, lifting her head so her lips met mine. She was my heaven.

I reached for where the nightgown was bunched up under her breasts and pulled it up and off of her and began trailing kisses down her body.

She purred and asked, "Shouldn't I be the one lavishing you with attention? After all, it's your day."

"Making you happy makes me very happy, my love," I said as I kissed in between her breasts and slid my hands down her side, coming to rest on her hips. "Besides, carrying our baby is more than I can ever repay you for."

"There's nothing to repay. I'm so happy, Carlisle," she said as she lovingly stroked my cheek. "We are sharing this. As you just said, this is _our_ baby. We created this life together, and we will raise him or her together."

"I love you," I said again before moving my mouth to her inviting breasts. I ran my tongue over her flesh before sucking on an engorged nipple, which elicited a resounding moan of approval from my lovely wife. My tongue rolled over her sensitive skin before moving to her other breasts. Her hand rested on the back of my neck, slowly tracing circles over the skin behind my collar.

After suckling each nipple thoroughly I continued down her body until I was facing her round belly once more. There had been no more movement from within. Everything was still except for my fingertips massaging over her skin as I stared at her stomach. "What are you thinking?" she asked me again.

I chuckled. "That Edward is going to have to tell us if he starts hearing this baby's thoughts like he did with Renesmee."

"He's already assured me that he will, but you do realize if that does happen all intimacy will cease until after this child is born."

I kissed her stomach and teased, "I don't have to deal with the birds and the bees discussion for at least a decade. I especially don't want to have it while he or she is still in your womb."

"Does that mean you are taking on that responsibility?" she said as she ruffled my hair.

"Sure, if you take every dirty diaper and feeding."

"Gladly," she happily sighed, and I knew she meant it too. She was going to enjoy every single moment of motherhood with our baby.

"I take that back then because I want to handle smelly diapers, too. If it's a girl you get to have the talk, and if it's a boy, I'll do it." I compromised.

"It's a deal," she said with a laugh.

I slid off the bed to start removing my clothes. As I began to unbutton my shirt, she sat up a little and called to me sweetly, "Do you want some help with that?"

"No, my love. Just relax." She required rest now. She couldn't make love for hours on end like before. Honestly, before we never had to stop, and there were times on her island when we had marathon sessions that lasted for days. I could never get enough of her, but now our time had to be limited. Her energy needed to be reserved. "Save your strength," I teased with a wink as I finished undressing.

She rolled her eyes at me, crossed her arms, bent her knees and pulled them up, and attempted to suppress a smirk. In a complete state of undress, I crawled from the end of the bed toward her knees and rested my chin on them and looked at her adorable face. She pressed her lips together, trying to suppress a laugh. Her attempt to look put out was very charming. I kissed both her knee caps, which must have been the secret password, because she slowly began to separate them. As her legs moved apart I trailed kisses down in between them until I reached those purple panties.

I slipped a finger in the waistband and gently rubbed her skin. I looked at her face and her eyes were lustful. She swallowed and nodded her permission. I grasped the waistband and pulled them down. She lifted her legs to help and once it passed over her feet, I tossed them aside and returned to in between her thighs. That new scent was stronger there, and I had to pause to let my brain process these new feelings and emotions. It was a long enough pause that she took notice.

"Carlisle, honey, what is it?" she said, her concern audible. I closed my eyes and collected my thoughts. I felt a growl building in my chest and I suppressed it. Her hand touched my cheek. "Carlisle?" she asked again. I turned my mouth and nose toward her palm, focusing on the slightly less potent scent. It was another moment before I could speak.

"I'm sorry, Esme. Your scent is changing, and it's making me feel more protective of you than usual, but also is making me feel more possessive and aggressive. It's almost akin to a rush of adrenaline."

The look on her face was one of understanding. She rationalized right away what I was feeling, but what I was too foolish to piece together. "You've always been protective of me, and now that I'm carrying your child, well, I'm sure that's what's causing the scent. You have twice as much to possess in one package. Of course it is overwhelming to you. Is your aggression toward me?"

"No, of course not. Never," I said quickly.

"So you're not worried about me harming the little one. You are worried about others," she rationalized.

"I don't know that it is necessarily worry. It's…" I trailed off. I didn't know what it was.

"You're a man that will do anything to protect your mate and your offspring. Carlisle; it's nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, I'm flattered, and it's kind of sexy," she said with a wink. "Just channel it into a positive. As you can see, I'm not putting up any resistance." Her thighs moved even farther apart and her hands fell open to her sides. I moved quickly to kiss her luscious lips before returning to kissing the inside of her thigh and moving over to give her the pleasure she deserved.

The moment my tongue touched her folds she moaned my name. It sounded so good that way. That new flavor to her flesh was there and in the nectar from her. I decided to take her suggestion and channel that aggression. I wanted her to feel my emotions and desires. I dove in.

I licked and sucked at her delicate flesh. I plunged my tongue inside, lapping up every bit of liquid that poured out of her. I teased my fingers over her thighs and then her aroused bud. She was grasping the sheets below her and between her groans, calling out my name with mixed tones of praise. I loved every moment of it. _I loved her._

One of her hands reached down and grabbed the back of my head, holding me to her. It was an unnecessary gesture; I wasn't going anywhere. I slid my tongue in and out, my nose rubbing against her clit. Her hips started bucking, and I knew she was almost there. I could have teased her more. I could have slowed down, but for the woman carrying my baby, I would have given her anything she wanted, and at that moment she wanted her release. I added my fingers to the mix, stroking the spot that I knew would make her start shaking.

She clutched my head with both hands and cried out as her orgasm peaked. I kept drinking from her until the quivering stopped and her hands loosened on my head to stroke my hair. I kissed her thighs and wiped my face with my hand, then licked it clean, not wanting to miss any bit of her. When I looked at her I saw my very content bride with her head against a pillow, propped up against the headboard. Her eyes were hooded and a satisfied smile was on her lips. Her satisfaction and her happiness I would do anything for.

I moved up alongside her and before I could kiss her, she had wrapped her arms around my neck and was kissing me. It was fierce, but yet slightly gentler than usual. I could only contribute it to her decrease in stamina. I held her to me as she released my lips and snuggled against my side. I slid a hand over her belly.

"Any movement or is the little one sleeping?" I asked.

"The little one must be fast asleep. Hopefully he or she will sleep through anything like Ness does." That has always been a blessing.

"I'm sure he or she will except when it comes to 1 AM and 4 AM feedings."

"But it's 8:30 AM and the baby is asleep." I cocked an eyebrow at her in confusion, before she poked me in the ribs and teased, "Oh, you were talking about the baby's eating schedule, not daddy's."

I laughed at her mischievous expression. "Esme Cullen, you naughty, naughty—"

"MILF?" The look on her face was truly arousing and spectacularly wicked. She was enjoying every second of her naughtiness. No one outside of our bed even suspected she was capable of thinking or saying such things.

"I was going to say minx, but MILF is appropriate too."

"Right now?" she asked with a sultry tone as she ran her hand down my stomach. I had been erect and wanting her since the moment I saw those violet panties.

"Right now and always," I said as I pulled her closer against me.

"Even when I'm fat?" She rolled her eyes, knowing it was a silly question at this point.

"You will still put every other woman to shame with your beauty. I told you, I love seeing you like this. Whether you are joking or not, you are a glowing and stunning mother-to-be, and my desire for you certainly hasn't waned. You are always the sexiest MILF and the only one I ever want."

"And I want you too," she said, then slithered her tongue over my lips. "Right now," she whispered. Her palms pushed my shoulders back as she gracefully climbed on top of me. Her eyes met mine as she hovered over my erection, teasing me by sliding her wetness against the tip. She was trying to get an audible reaction out of me, and she did as I groaned her beloved name and placed my hands at her waist. Her eyes rolled back slightly as she impaled herself on my length, making us one.

Her movements were refined as she glided up and down. Her hands rested on my shoulder, and mine moved to her hips to give her a little encouragement. I noticed a change. It was still glorious because it was my Esme, but again there was slightly less strength in her actions. I didn't let it deter me or her. I released her hips and floated my hands to her shoulders. From there I cupped her breasts, teasing her nipples with my thumbs, making her throw back her head and growl. She increased her pace, and I thrust up to meet her. I wouldn't last much longer and when her head rolled forward again, I could see in her face that she wouldn't either.

Her muscles began contracting, and I knew a well placed finger would push her over the edge. I knew her so well. With one hand returning to her waist, I saw her eyes pass over the other one with anticipation as I moved it toward where we were joined. With a few strokes she was lost. Her muscles clenched and vibrated, and a moment later I found my release, our cries blending together in a perfect harmony.

I pulled her chest toward me as her body separated from mine. I always felt a twinge of sadness at that instant that we came apart. The closest I ever felt to perfection was when I was entangled with her. The sadness never lasted long, for she always was still there and still mine.

She lay on her back, and I nestled her in my arms. I could see in her eyes that she was sleepy again. As contented as she was, she was also a bit worn out, and I couldn't help but laugh when she subdued a yawn.

"Did I bore you?" I mocked.

"Never," she insisted. "I'm sorry. I wish I had more energy, but getting tired and worn out seems to be a side effect of this needing sleep thing. That was wonderful," she said and placed a kiss against my neck, then rested her head on my arm, her eyes halfway closed.

"You're going to leave me for dreamland?" I said with a dramatic sigh.

"Dreamland two nights ago is what inspired the purple panties," she mumbled.

I perked up. "Oh, really? What do you dream about?"

"I dream about the dream that came true. You."

Her eyes peeked up toward my face through her long eyelashes, expressing her admiration with that look. I kissed her forehead. "You're too good to me, love, but what happened with the purple panties in your dream?"

The mischievous grin was back. "You ripped them off. I woke up wanting to engage you immediately, but I knew we were going to have the place to ourselves this morning, so I held off."

"You are a little minx."

"MILF," she corrected.

"That comes without saying, but I think at the moment you need some rest."

"I'm sorry, but you've worn me out," she said contentedly.

"Thank you for my Father's Day present," I said with another kiss and a brush of my hand over her belly.

"You're welcome." She didn't stifle the yawn this time. "You don't have to stay with me."

"Nonsense, where else would I rather be than with you resting in my arms?" I said gently. It was true. There was nowhere I would ever rather be than with her.

"But it must be so boring for you," she groaned.

"On the contrary, your movements and facial expressions are fascinating."

She quietly laughed, "Always the curious one."

"It's in my nature."

"And I wouldn't have you any other way." And with that she dozed off.

Bella once told me that the first time she saw Esme she conjured up thoughts of Snow White in the flesh. As I looked down at her, a sleeping and enchanted princess seemed like the most appropriate description. Sleeping Beauty would have worked too. I was the prince who longed to kiss her awake, but I resisted.

She didn't move much, but at one moment her subconscious self turned into me and pressed her body against mine with her round stomach just touching my abdomen. She settled again, and I went back to admiring her magnificence.

It was nearly an hour later that I felt the movement in her belly where it pressed against mine. It was slightly more significant than before, but she remained asleep. I slipped my arm out from under her angelic head, replacing it with my pillow so I could shift down to face her stomach again. I touched my fingers to it and felt the movement within. I reverently kissed just above her navel.

"I love you," I whispered close to her skin. "We have wanted you for so long, and you are so loved, not just by your mom and dad, but by your brothers and sisters and niece, too. We can't wait to meet you in a few months. You are our miracle." I pressed my lips to her again and felt another swift movement. I smiled, then disciplined the miracle for the first time. "By the way, I'm your daddy, and I'm ordering you not to wake your mommy." There was a lighter response and then no more for the moment. "Your daddy thanks you for listening."

I returned to my former position of holding Esme in my arms. As much as I loved watching her blissfully experiencing the joy of pregnancy, I longed for the day she would give birth and we would meet this miracle that had been so long in coming. I had been father, dad, and grandpa, but never before had I been _daddy_. I loved the sound of it. _Daddy_ had the potential to be the greatest challenge yet, but also the potential for more joy than I could even begin to fathom. And side by side with mommy and a supporting cast of siblings, I knew there would be love, laughter, adventure and proof that wishes do come true.

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><p><strong>I hope you enjoyed Carlisle's Father's Day. <strong>

**I wrote a prologue piece for this idea in September 2010. That piece, entitled_ If I Had One Wish_, is on my tumblr, and you can find the link to it on my profile page. **

**Thank you to MarchHare5 and Batgirl8968 for their awesome beta work on the one-shot! **

**Look on my profile page for the link to the beautiful banner for this story created by FrozenSoldier!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Gentle Reader,**_

_**Thank you for sharing your love and support of our story of how we came to be blessed with our miracle. It is thanks to your support and encouragement that we have decided to present the whole story of how this miracle came to be and our ongoing adventures since the miracle arrived. What we have presented so far was just scratching the surface. Here is the whole story. **_

_**Love,**_

_**Carlisle, Esme, and our miracle**_

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><p><em>Carlisle's POV<em>

"Uncle Emmett! Put me down!" squealed my granddaughter as we ran through the rainforest.

"You can't keep up, squirt!" Emmett disputed with a laugh.

"I was doing just fine!" Renesmee argued back.

"You were slowing down and you know it!" Emmett teased.

"They're going to scare away every creature in the forest for miles," Jasper muttered under his breath.

"Emmett, Renesmee, calm down," Bella said firmly, sounding like a stern warning.

"But Uncle Emmett started it," Renesmee protested.

"And I'm ending it!" Bella replied tersely. I looked to my side and saw Esme suppressing a smirk. It still often amused my wife and I when we heard Bella or Edward taking on the authoritative tone of a parent.

Edward was in the lead, but he suddenly slowed to a stop and we did as well. "They're not far. I can hear them."

"Told you so," Alice said triumphantly.

"You're as bad as the six year old," grumbled Rosalie.

"I'm developed to the age of 14 or 15," Renesmee griped.

"Nah, I say 13. You're only five and half," Emmett provoked.

"Uncle Emmett!" shrieked Renesmee.

"They heard that," Edward said with a sigh. "Nahuel thinks it sounds like Ness. They are all coming to investigate."

"Who is 'all'?" I asked Edward, but before he could respond he gestured to my right.

"Carlisle?" I heard a very heavily accented voice ask with surprise. I turned to find Zafrina.

Before I could even get a word in my energetic granddaughter was squealing like the teenage girl that she was and bounding toward the Amazonian. "Zafrina!" The wild looking woman's reserve broke as a smile lit across her face as she caught Nessie in a hug.

"My Nessie! I wasn't expecting to find you in my forest today, but what a happy surprise!"

I looked past her and found the answer to "all." Senna and Kachiri were there along with who we were seeking, Nahuel and Huilen. There was an unknown woman standing a few yards back past Nahuel. There's a faint resemblance to Nahuel, her eyes are dark brown, and I could hear her heart. I realized immediately that she must be one of his half-sisters. I was guessing by her slightly darker, but still pale, skin tone and the shape of her face that she's his Algerian descent one, Maysun.

Controlled chaos quickly began to occur around us as our party of ten was welcomed by their group of six, well, five. Maysun sunk back a bit further beyond the tree. As I watched her Nahuel began approaching me. I saw Esme had not missed the new member of their party, and had begun to walk toward her. Nahuel quickly sidestepped to greet my wife. Esme happily greeted him, but her eyes wandered over to the unknown figure.

"Please, Nahuel, introduce me to your new companion," Esme invited.

All eyes turned to the stranger who looked at us with trepidation. My children that could possibly have given me some insight thanks to their gifts were not in my line of sight. If she was a threat in anyway though, Edward, Jasper or Alice would have alerted us immediately.

Nahuel kept a hold of Esme's hand as he escorted her over toward the woman. I stayed close on my wife's heels. The woman didn't move as we approached, but moved her gaze to Nahuel searching his eyes for something. When we were just a few feet away, Nahuel spoke.

"Esme, this is my half-sister, Maysun. Maysun, these are the Cullen's, the vampires that keep one who is like us, and this is their female leader, Esme."

Esme radiated her usual warmth that makes anyone feel like the best moment of their day would be in her presence. She greeted her in Arabic, one of the native languages spoken in Algeria, which seemed to relax Maysun slightly.

"My English is pretty good, I think, but thank you for the gesture, Esme. It is nice to meet you," Maysun spoke slowly, but clearly.

Renesmee had come beside me and reached her hand into mine. I looked over at my granddaughter and found her eyes wide open and staring at Maysun. We had tried to track down Nahuel's half-sister, Jennifer. We knew from Nahuel that Jennifer spent most of her time in Ohio where she was born, but either she didn't want to be found or was out of the state during our search. This was the first time we had met one of Nahuel's half-sisters, and the first time we had seen another female vampire/human hybrid.

I squeezed Nessie's hand, and gave a light tug to pull her forward. Nahuel reached out a hand to her, and she dropped my hand to hug her companion. Renesmee and Nahuel had a very special bond. As few vampires as there were compared to the human population, the vampire population seemed vast compared to the amount of vampire/human hybrids. As far as we knew there were five in existence and three stood before us.

"She's so young!" Maysun exclaimed and took a step toward them, but stopped abruptly as Edward surged forward and placed himself next to Ness. If Edward saw there was some danger in Maysun he was leaving Esme who stood closest to her exposed. Edward stared at Maysun with hostility, and a bit of fire was returned in her eyes. "I mean her no ill will."

"Where is the other man?" Edward barked.

Jacob growled. He would be ready to step in to defend Renesmee in anyway, but Edward had made it very clear to Jacob early on that he was her father and until she was of age, he was to remain the most important man in her life, and her ultimate protector.

"What are you talking about?" Maysun said defensively, her eyes wide open.

"Maysun," Nahuel said soothingly. "This is Renesmee's father, Edward. Remember what I told you about his gift. He can read minds." He began to point toward each of my family members as a way of introduction and reminded her of Alice and Jasper's gifts as well. I took a moment to look at Alice and her facial expressions were not unfriendly, but they weren't giving anything away either. Twice Jasper's eyes flickered to her face. Something was amiss. I was brought back to the situation before me as Nahuel said my name. "And this is Carlisle Cullen, their leader. He is a healer of humans, a doctor. He's a great man." I was flattered by his introduction and nodded my head at the strange woman. "And this is Renesmee, who is like us."

Ness was grinning at her, and Maysun couldn't help but return her smile, but Edward put an arm in front of his daughter when they made a move toward each other.

"Dad!" Ness said dismissingly to her overprotective father, and tried to bow under his arm to get to Maysun, but he grabbed her. I could seem Esme was worried by Edward's reaction, but she also felt no threat from Maysun and took her hand.

"Mom!" Edward said, now playing the role of child.

"She's Nahuel's sister. She is not a threat," Esme said.

"There's someone else here and she's hiding him," Edward insisted.

"Edward, please, calm down. There's no threat," Nahuel interjected.

"He's right, Edward," Maysun looked desperately toward her sibling as she spoke, "Nahuel and I, thought it best to explain my being here before meeting the others. Nahuel has told me much about all of you. He says that you are good and understanding. That you are not like other vampires. You are a large coven, but power and control are not what you seek. You believe in love and family."

"There is no threat here, Edward," Zafrina clearly stated.

I spoke up. "If Zafrina and Nahuel say there's nothing amiss, Edward, then they deserve our trust."

Edward still looks wary as he lowered his hand, and Ness raced over to Maysun.

"It's nice to meet you!" she says with a giggle. Her enthusiasm bordering on contagious as Maysun's lips began to turn into a grin. "I've been longing to meet one of Nahuel's sisters. We've tried tracking down Jennifer, but haven't been able to find her. I have so many questions for you!"

"As I do for you young one, but I think we should settle down, and have story time with your father and mother," she said with a nod toward, Bella, "to ease his mind."

"You say others, but I heard just one other," said Edward.

"All will be explained. Please, sit," said Maysun.

The spot was as good as any. We gathered around to hear Maysun's story, and why there were others hiding in the woods instead of with us.

Ness stayed by Maysun's side as they sat. Edward wedged his way in between Ness and Nahuel, while Jacob, still in wolf form, laid down behind Ness. She reached back and gave him a gentle pat, before turning back to Maysun. Esme sat down on the other side of Maysun, and I placed myself beside her.

Maysun began to speak, "I know Nahuel has told you our origins and about our father, Joham, so I will spare you the repeat of that tale. I know Nahuel is less fond of Joham than I am, but I am less fond of Joham than our sisters, Jennifer and Serena. Nahuel and I have always gotten along, and I favor his opinion. I trust him, and I have trusted him now with a secret that I've hid from my father for decades.

"You know of my father's curiosity and his precursor to experiment, which is how we came into existence. Lives were lost along the way beyond just our mothers'. While there have been times when I have spent many years by father's side, I have more often than not taken to the world alone. I blend in among humans, and have enjoyed at times living among them as your family does. When vampires come upon me they know that I am different, and will approach me out of their own curious natures.

"Sixty years ago I was approached in Cairo by a male vampire named Chisisi. As with other's he felt some draw to my blood, but wanted to know what I was. I found myself opening up to him about my existence more than I had with any other being, and we soon found ourselves in love. I left the human-like life I had in Cairo, and began to roam with him. We were nomadic. I had never had intimate relations with anyone before, but we desired each other and gave into our feelings. We were happy together.

"We were together for a little over a year when we noticed a change. My appetite was different and I sometimes felt ill, which," she looked at Nahuel and he nodded, "We never feel. Chisisi with his vampire sight noticed the changes in my appearance before I did. I was growing. My body was filling out. As my stomach began to round we couldn't deny what was happening to me any longer. I was expecting a baby."

Esme's nails dug into my palm.

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><p><strong>Author's Notes<strong>

**Thank you again for your support and encouragement to continue this story. Please visit my profile page to check out the link to TwiFicDataBase's recent review when _Miracles and Mischief_ was chosen as the Pick of the Week. Also, they conducted an author's interview with me focused on _Miracles and Mischief_ - you'll find the link to the interview on my profile as well. **

**Thank you to my betas on this story, December LeNoir and sweetishbubble! **

**So now that I've finally started the expansion of this story, please let me know what you think! XOXO**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thank you for your wonderful response to chapter 2! Thank you to my betas December LeNoir and sweetishbubble.**

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><p><em>Carlisle's POV<em>

The air was still. Not a word was spoken as we processed what Maysun just said. She had been expecting a baby and she was still here. Before the full meaning set in she continued.

"At first we were worried that she would destroy me as I had destroyed my mother, but I knew that my mother's pregnancy had been accelerated, and I had been showing signs of pregnancy for several months. There was nothing we could do but let it proceed. After nine-months I gave birth to a very special baby girl that I named Khalida. She had the beauty of a vampire, but she would appear human to anyone who didn't look too hard. Her body temperature ran cooler, closer to Chisisi than my own. Her heart beat, but slower than mine. Her eyes were as dark as a hungry vampire's, and have never changed their tone. I was surprised that I was able to breast feed her."

She looked at Bella as she said, "It became apparent early on that she was gifted. She was aging at a normal human pace although her mind seemed advanced for her physical development. I wanted to protect her, and I had to make a difficult decision. I feared for her safety and Chisisi. If Joham discovered our creation, he would want to experiment with her and with me, and he would bring down Chisisi if he had to. I didn't want that. I wanted their safety. So Chisisi took our daughter and we parted ways to protect her more than anything else."

"For how long were you separated?" Esme asked; her voice cracked.

"We only found each other again last year." Maysun's expression showed her mind had returned to that reunion. "So for nearly fifty-nine years we lived separate lives, which was good because Joham found me on several occasions, but never stayed long, and I never agreed to go with him. I kept my love and my child a secret from Nahuel, Jennifer, and Serena as well. Secretly I have longed to have them back. Not a moment went by when they weren't in my thoughts and I was in theirs as well. Chisisi had been looking for me for several years when I began my search for them. Once reunited and having seen the beautiful woman my daughter had become, I knew I could never leave them again.

"I brought them here because I wanted them to meet my brother."

"Where are they?" Ness asked. She had been completely enraptured with the story.

"What are her powers, Maysun?" Alice spoke up and I could tell she was concerned. I realized she hasn't spoken much that afternoon. She hadn't announce that we were getting close to them. She hadn't chimed in that there was no threat. Had she seen some kind of manifestation of Khalida's powers and was asking Maysun to confirm it or was the problem that, like with the wolves, she couldn't see at all?

"She has many gifts at her disposal, including something similar to Bella's mental shield," she said with a nod toward Alice and Edward.

"But I can see Bella's future. I've been blocked here," said Alice with a guarded tone.

"I said it was similar; I didn't say it was exact," Maysun insisted.

"Where are they?" Ness asked again eagerly.

"We're here," a deep voice called beyond the trees. A moment later a man and a woman emerged into the small clearing, Chisisi and Khalida.

He was as tall as I am, but that was where any comparison ended. He was dark skinned, as muscular as Emmett, and his eyes glowed red. His daughter appeared older than her mother. She had at least three inches of height on Maysun, a skin tone that fell in between theirs, and on first glance appeared to be a stunningly beautiful human, but the darkness of her eyes bordered on unnatural and there was an aura about her that was otherworldly.

"Greetings, Cullen's," Khalidi spoke with much more assurance than her mother had. "Based on what Nahuel has told us about you, I've been eager to meet you all." Her eyes moved from face to face and she looked as if she knew who everyone was. She turned to Alice and said, "I'm sorry that I've been blocking you, Alice and you too, Edward," she said he she looked at him. "We thought it would be easier to have Maysun explain on her terms."

"If you can block us, why didn't you just block Joham and return to your mother decades ago?" Jasper interrupted. He too must be affected by her shield.

Khalida didn't lose her stride. "I didn't know I had this particular gift until much more recently, Jasper, and when we realized I did then we started looking for her."

"You said that you realized she was special almost immediately. If you just discovered this shield, what did she exhibit early on that made it so clear that she was special?" Esme asked looking at Maysun.

Maysun exchanged a look with Chisisi, but Khalidi was the one who responded as she looked at my wife with kindness in her eyes. "All in good time, Esme Cullen."

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><p><em>Esme's POV<em>

There are so many things I shouldn't feel from a biological standpoint in my vampire form. Physical heartache was definitely on the list, but when Maysun told us that she and a male vampire had sired a child, my heart fell.

For most of my family it meant something else completely. Maysun being a half human/half vampire and the discovery that she bore a child was a breakthrough. It could have huge repercussions for Renesmee.

I don't think anyone of us have wanted to think about Ness being fully developed and being intimate, although we all knew it was just a matter of time before she was fully grown and started developing feelings for Jacob that were more than brotherly affection. I knew Carlisle, Edward and Bella have had some preliminary discussions about it, but there's been no desire to have "the talk." She wasn't ready and neither were her parents.

I loved Jacob Black. He's been a part of our family since the day Renesmee was born. I knew at times that he felt like an outsider and I believed he always would. I could only try to make him as comfortable as possible under the circumstances. In my mind I wasn't prepared yet for him to make the leap from the boy who pursued my daughter-in-law and was my granddaughter's best friend/ pseudo big brother, to her boyfriend and one day her husband and, possibly, the father of her children…my great grandchildren.

Renesmee had exhausted herself and was asleep in her tent with Jacob resting in wolf form in front of the entrance. Maysun was leaning against Chisisi's shoulder, their hands intertwined, as she continued to answer the barrage of questions from my family. The discussion was lively, but I was barely engaged.

I knew I should have been happy. This was an incredible piece of knowledge. Renesmee could bear children. But I felt my own selfishness overpowering my happiness. I glanced over at Rosalie to see if in her face I could see similar emotions reflecting back. She was either suppressing them or not feeling the same thing as me for she was hanging on Maysun's every word.

I leaned over into Carlisle's ear and whispered, "I'm going for a walk."

"Do you want me to come with you?" I could hear his concern.

"No, it's alright. Stay here and keep learning." _I wanted to be alone._

I stood up, and disappeared into the darkness of the trees. The moon peaked through every so often, but it was fairly dark under the rainforest's canopy. The voices of my loved ones faded as I walked on.

I could feel the burning in my throat not associated with thirst but with crying. I swallowed in the thick, humid air trying to find relief. I picked up my pace to put further distance between me and my family. I didn't need Edward hearing my thoughts or Jasper sensing my emotions.

I was nine miles away when I sat down by a stream, and shuddered with a wave of emotions.

_Pull yourself together, Esme! _I thought. But I couldn't. _Not yet. Not again._

"This is a beautiful spot. Too beautiful for tears of sadness." My head shot up to find Khalida perched on a nearby rock as if she had been waiting for me.

"It's a good thing that I can't shed them," I said bitterly, but instantly regretted my rudeness. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine, Esme," she said, never losing her sweetness.

"How did you escape your interrogation?" I mumbled.

"Very stealthily," she said with an air of mystery in her voice before a mischievous smirk took over. "And I told my father I was going to the bathroom, and didn't want the mind reader seeing it. I didn't feel like being interrogated over my bowel movements tonight."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I'm sorry that they have so many questions."

"But you don't?" she asked.

I sighed and looked away as I asked, "Can I feign exhaustion from the journey?"

"Only if you were not a vampire," she says with a bubbliness that for a moment reminds me of our Alice.

"I guess that I can't then," I said returned my gaze to her. She seemed to be scrutinizing me.

"I've been looking forward to meeting you, Esme. I'm excited to find you alone."

This takes me a bit by surprise. My family was a cast of characters, five, six if you count Carlisle, of which have extraordinary abilities. I wasn't usually the one anyone was excited for in comparison.

"You have your own gift, Esme Cullen and that gift makes you a mother and a wife in an existence where such titles are rare. I want to know your story from you," Khalida said.

"My story? What part of it?" There was so much that could be told, but I didn't know if she truly wanted to hear it all or if I even wanted to tell it.

"All of it. I've heard so much from Nahuel about your children and your husband, but he doesn't seem to know as much about you, and I find you fascinating."

She was staring at me as if I was most interesting creature she had ever seen and it was a bit unnerving.

"Don't be overwhelmed," she said.

I was beginning to see there was more to her than meets the eye as I asked, "Can you read my thoughts or sense my emotions?"

"A bit of both." The impish look crossed her face again.

"What are you?" I asked as my skepticism rose.

"I'm unique," she stated with a shrug. "And I want to know more about the true Mrs. Cullen."

"What do you mean by true?"

"Although your family bears the last name Cullen as the sign of your unity, you are the only one truly married to the one and only Cullen – the legendary vampire doctor who resists human blood and willingly dives into it; the one who doesn't take human life but does everything in his power to save it. But he didn't save you for human existence, he changed you." She sounded as if she was in awe of my husband and I spoke without censor.

"I was beyond repair. There was no saving me in my human existence. I was dead to that life."

"And yet, he saved you. I want to know the woman that he saved," she punctuated the end of sentence with a yawn. "But not tonight. We should get back. They're going to come looking for us soon. And I need rest."

I stood up and brushed off my pants. "You sleep?" I asked as I turned to head back toward our families. Her stride matched my own.

"I don't need as much sleep as Maysun and Renesmee, who require a human's amount of rest. I only need a few hours at most."

"Do you dream?" I didn't know why I asked it.

She once again looked amused. Maybe that was just the way she always looked. "I do dream. Do you dream?"

"You know we can't sleep."

"Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't dream. I have a hunch that you are a dreamer, Esme."

"I live in reality. Carlisle was my dream and he came true." I felt very small. The way her voice danced over every word seemed to hint that she knew more about me than she was letting on. It was almost intimidating.

"I know. He loves you very much and you adore him."

"How do you know that?" There was agitation in my voice that I didn't intend to put there.

She laughed. "It doesn't take a mind reader to see that, Esme. It's in his eyes. It's in yours. There is complete devotion in every movement." We were almost back to the place where our families were at rest. "I don't mean to cause you stress, Esme. I am no threat. As I said before I'm just curious about you."

"You seem to know so much already."

"Only at the surface, but I can sense there is so much more to you. There's an incredible strength that at is at your core even though you are feeling weak at the moment. You have a passionate heart. I want to learn where that passion was created." Her lips were warm as they pressed against my cheek at the edge of the clearing. "You may not have a supernatural ability, but you are special. I will learn why, later."

She left my side and bound over to her father. He was leaning against a tree off to the side with Maysun asleep against him. Khalida sat down on his other side and rested her head in his lap. Chisisi smiled at his daughter, and ran his hand over her hair as her eyes closed. He looked so content with his family. He nodded at me as his eyes met mine. I nodded in return before heading to my husband's side.

Nahuel must have taken his leave to sleep for only the vampires were still talking near the campfire. I avoided meeting anyone's eyes as I sat down next to Carlisle, slipping my hand into his.

He leaned into me and whispered into my ear, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head gently and kept my voice light as I said, "Nothing. I'm fine." I knew Jasper sensed my true feelings of confusion and some despair. I looked into the flames of the fire before me. I knew even without supernatural abilities that Carlisle realized I wasn't being honest with him, but he wouldn't push me among non-family. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my temple. I rested my head on his shoulder and shut my eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

_Esme's POV_

"Edward's your favorite."

"It's not nice to pick favorites among your children."

"I still think you're nice, Esme, but it's obvious that Edward's your favorite."

Khalida was looking at me with her signature smirk. Even in deep conversations there always seemed to be amusement, mischief even, in her eyes.

It was our last evening in the rainforest. Tomorrow we would begin our journey back to civilization. Carlisle and I would see our family off at the airport before escaping to our tropical paradise off the coast of Brazil.

I had spent time with each of my old friends, Zafrina, Kachiri and Senna over the last week. We discussed what had happened in our lives during the last three years since we had seen each other. Zafrina had grown quite an attachment to Renesmee and chided me for not bringing her sooner. I shared with her and her sisters my experience as a grandmother, and of course they wanted to hear how Bella was progressing and adapting to this life. Carlisle sat with me as I spoke with Maysun and Chisisi. I liked them both very much, but I found myself drawn slightly more to Chisisi. There was warmth about him that reminded me of my husband. He wore his fatherly pride like a mantle as he told us about his experience as a single father to Khalida for so many years. I could also tell how much he had missed Maysun during that time and how much he loved her. When Chisisi and Maysun sat next to each other they were always touching. I wondered if more children were in their future.

As for the child they had, Khalida was a precocious one. I had spent more time with her over the last week than anyone else in our group, including my husband. She wanted to know everything about me and my family through my eyes, and anything I said just lead to more questions. The strange thing was that I often felt like she knew what I was going to say before I said it, but that didn't deter me. I didn't know why I was so open with her, but for some reason I felt incredibly at ease with her.

"He was our first, and he was so accepting of me. He was our only child for a decade before Rosalie joined us. It was only a few years before she found Emmett, and then she needed less parental guidance. Edward has always needed us more than the others because he's been on his own until the last few years. With Bella and Renesmee he grew up. He's a husband and a father now, and I'm so happy for him."

"You miss him though?" she observed.

"He hasn't gone anywhere," I said with a laugh.

"You're not the number one woman in his life though, but he's still your number one son. His priorities adjusted, but yours have not," Khalida declared, her eyes never flickered.

"He has a wife and a daughter. I wouldn't expect anything less," I said, defending Edward. "There would be something wrong in his relationship if he valued me over the two of them."

"He loves you very much," she said, the impishness back.

"I know," I assured her.

"They all do – especially your husband."

"But of course."

"Your Carlisle is quite perfect isn't he?" she teased.

I grimaced with a chuckle. "My husband isn't perfect. He's about as close to perfect as they come, but even he has his flaws."

"He's hard on himself."

"Of course he is when he's pursuing perfection, but he takes things too seriously at times. He takes _me_ too seriously at times."

"It's his pursuit of perfection and his love for you," she said sweetly.

I paused before I continued. "He carries so much weight on his shoulders. He isn't God. He's my God, but he can't wave his magical hands and create perfection. He can't fix everyone's problems or heal every sick person. He sometimes says he's tried to do the best with what he's been given. He has always done his best so I hate when he is discontented."

Khalida studied my face as she spoke. "He has done so much that he never had to do. His kind would never have held him to such high standards. He chooses human life over their death. He heals those whose lives are so fragile when compared to his. He wants to make the world a better place and make his place better in it. He has not just built a coven – he has created a family, and a large and loving one at that. He was alone for so long, but even alone, with no one to judge him or see his good deeds, he did his best to create good in this world. When he created Edward and then you, he spread his goodness."

"Men and women have died because of me and Edward," I admitted.

Khalida moved in close to me and for the first time took my hand. It was warmer than my own. "And he bears that cross, but Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his generous family have done more good in this world than bad. You have made him a better person because he only judged himself before, but now everything he does, every action he takes, he has you in his heart. As you value his judgment and his assessment of you, he equally values yours."

"I can't compare to Carlisle's goodness," I said with a self-deprecating air.

"Why not? What have you ever done wrong?"

"I'm at times selfish and self centered," I mumbled.

She let out a big dramatic sign and wrapped an arm around me and lightly chastised me. "You're allowed to be at times, Esme. There are times that it can be all about you. You've earned that right. You are a good person."

"You hardly know me." I half-heartedly tried to shrug away, but Khalida wasn't letting me go.

"I know much about you. I've been interrogating you for a week and I have spoken to every single family member about you and your husband. I've also heard Zafrina, Senna, Kachiri, Huilen, Nahuel and my mother and father's opinions. You two are respected and adored."

"That is very kind of you to say," I said with a forced smile.

She offered further encouragement. "You are special, Esme. You may not have special abilities, but you are gifted. Your goodness, your love, you ability to make a home and surround yourself with a family are incredible gifts. You are a blessing on this earth, Mrs. Cullen. You should take pride in that even if your humility won't let you."

I stared at her for a moment. She was so positive and confident. She seemed to know so much. Her vision was so clear.

"I wish I could to see the world through your eyes for a moment. You have a way of seeing that is so different," I said in awe.

"That seems like a waste of a perfectly good wish," she said as she released my hand and stood before taking a seat again across from me.

"I find that wishes rarely come true, Khalida. Dreams, yes, I was lucky in that department. Wishes, well, they are just that," I admitted.

"Ah, but if you could have one wish, Esme Cullen, one wish that could come true, what would it be?" She asked eagerly her playfulness returned.

"We shouldn't wish our lives away," I said wistfully.

"Humor me."

_If I had one wish…_

As if it was something I ever had to take any time to ponder, but I felt selfish and guilty whenever I let my mind wander to this subject anymore. I let the emotions come to the surface though and opened up to her as I had all week.

"How can I ask for wishes when I have so much?" I said with a shake of my head and a crack in my voice. I continued.

"I have children. Six beautiful children. Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Bella. Each unique. Each mated perfectly to their other half. Each so special in their own way. I may not have borne them or raised them, but I love them so much.

"I have a granddaughter," I affirmed with a smile. "A miracle. My princess. Renesmee. For decades I thought the idea of her was impossible, but she has proved the impossible is possible. She is a beautiful young lady. To have watched her grow up and develop has been an incredible journey. It was shorter than I would have liked. I would have liked to watch her go off to school every day for years. She grew up so fast, but she is happy. I want happiness for her. Jacob makes her happy.

"I have my husband. Our lives are intertwined. There is no Esme without Carlisle. He is my partner, my best friend, my lover, the father to our children, and the leader of our family. It is my greatest honor to be Mrs. Cullen. I love him with all of my heart, and it doesn't feel like enough. He deserves more. He is so good, brilliant, kind, mostly perfect, and he deserves more love than my heart is capable of giving and it is giving it all to him. I will love him forever.

"So the one wish – the one wish would be something that he would want too. Something that I would share with my husband. There is so much that we can buy, we can share, and we can do with the endless amount of time available to us. But the one thing that eludes us, the one thing I have struggled with, even more so since Nessie came along, is that I am barren. We love our children so much, but to be able to carry his child, to become round with his baby inside me, to raise a son or daughter of our own… that would be the wish come true. I know now that it is me, my body, which has held him back. He could have been a father all this time, and he would be the greatest father that any child would ever know. He already is to the children we have, and he is the best grandfather…"

"You would wish to have a baby with Carlisle?" Khalida asked. Her playful tone had disappeared and when I looked at her I found her face to be quite serious.

"Yes, but it is never to be. I had accepted it. It had taken many years to accept it, and there were moments when the pain would creep up and go 'boo,' but for the most part I had become content with our adopted children. But when Renesmee surprised us all… You know now that I first met Carlisle when I was human. If I had just run into town that night instead of to the cliff, maybe he would have found me then. We would have struggled as Bella and Edward did, but things would have turned out similarly. Carlisle would have taken the same steps to save me as Edward did to save Bella. We would have our child and we would be together forever."

"But Edward and Bella wouldn't have taken the same risk. Would you have denied them Renesmee?" I thought I heard accusation in her tone.

"No," I affirmed. "No, of course not. I would not let my selfishness deny them their happiness… their family… their child."

"You have a great heart, Esme Cullen. One of the best I have ever seen, regardless of our kind." Khalida was so gravely serious that it barely seemed like her. "And your husband – he may be the best of our kind of all time. I have never met one such as he, and doubt I will meet one like him ever again. He is all good and compassion and care for his fellow creatures. He loves everyone, but his family more and you above all. You two deserve happiness and peace always."

"We have happiness. We have peace. We have love," I agreed. "What more do we need?"

"What you most desire."

I bit my lip then protested, "But it cannot be. It is too late for us. I accept that."

"And you mean that. I see that. It doesn't mean that you don't deserve more. That is my gift to give, Esme Anne Cullen."

"Your gift? What do you mean?" I asked with slight confusion.

"Your family is wondering where you are. They are preparing to depart," she said changing the subject as she stood up.

"Khalida! What gift?" I asked as I jumped to my feet.

She stepped forward until she was right in front of me. She took both my hands in her own and kissed my forehead.

"I have told you already. You take care of yourself, Mrs. Cullen. I will see you again soon enough."

Then Khalida was gone and I was standing in the woods alone and uneasy.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

**In September 2010, an idea popped into to my head that I wrote out called "If I Had One Wish." It was Esme talking to a mysterious unnamed figure about her only wish. That drabble, which I always thought would be a prologue to a bigger story, inspired "Miracles and Mischief." There's a link to "If I Had One Wish" on my profile page. If you have read it then I'm sure some of this chapter was familiar.**

**Thank you for the reviews! I know some indicated that they were excited about Esme telling her story. I chose not to write out her whole story because in my mind up nothing in her history is different than what I have written, and will write, in "The Esme Chronicles."**

**Thank you for reading! Make sure to check out Ask Esme Cullen on tumblr! The link is on my profile.**

**Thank you to my betas December LeNoir and sweetishbubble.**


	5. Chapter 5

_Carlisle's POV_

Esme was far away. Her mind was up in the sky with the full moon she was staring at as we traveled across the dark waters to her island.

Something was amiss.

I had not had a moment alone with Esme during our time in the rainforest. There were so many of us together that it would have been difficult, but my efforts to speak to her privately were rebuffed. She had spent much time to the point of near excess with our Amazonian friends, but even more so, and to my surprise, she kept disappearing into the forest with Khalida.

The news of the existence of a further variation of a child that was part vampire was a shock and meeting her was just incredible. Khalida was mysterious, but contrastingly was very open. She had a sweet disposition and was very bright. She also was talented, but to what full extent I did not know. All I did know what that she was enamored with my wife.

It was impossible not to fall in love with Esme. Her warmth, her beauty, her kindness, and her heart drew everyone to her. I had seen her charm so many over the decades. Why would Khalida be any different?

The difference should have been what Khalida was – the child of a vampire. It's not that I would have expected Esme to begrudge Khalida because she would never have, but I was certainly surprised by how much time they spent alone together.

I knew there had to be so much racing through Esme's head. Knowing her, she was reviewing the week and preparing what she wanted to talk about. It was often her way. She would talk to me when she was ready, but I couldn't help but speculate what the conversation would be.

Esme adored Renesmee. Our granddaughter was perfection and we couldn't imagine life without her once she existed. Her coming into being was the greatest miracle I had ever witnessed. We all acknowledged that, but that didn't mean that it was without consequences. It had caused Esme great emotional turmoil.

It was my greatest blessing that Esme loved me and agreed to become my wife. She wanted a family with me and by God we had one. There was more love, and more children, in our home that I could ever have begun to imagine when we said, "I do." Every addition to our family was a new blessing, but I always knew for how much we adored our children that what she wanted was the one thing I couldn't give her – a biological child. As vampires, our bodies frozen in time, we physically were unable to procreate. It was a burden we bore together until we discovered that our new daughter-in-law was pregnant.

In the chaos that followed Edward and Bella's arrival home from their honeymoon through the end of that year, there was little time to dwell on what was gnawing away deep inside me and my wife – if Edward could be a father then I could be too.

It didn't matter. It didn't change anything. I had no regrets. There was only one woman who I would have ever wanted as the mother of my children and she was on this boat with me and she was in fact the mother of my children.

Esme didn't see it in quite the same way.

It had been difficult for Esme to come to terms with the fact that she couldn't bear children in this life. At times the reality of it had haunted her throughout our marriage. I always was humbled that she wanted so badly to have a child with me. After the terrifying pregnancy was over and Renesmee had arrived she was overjoyed for her son, but she was also filled with "what if's" that were left to fester inside her for months as we dealt with other issues.

It wasn't until after our family was safe as it could be for the time being in early 2007 did the emotions start to rise. I knew something was off and suspected what it was. In late February I took her away for a couple days and then the dam burst.

"_What if I had run into town that night instead of to the cliff? What if I had gone looking for you after my leg healed? What if I let you go so you can go be the father you should be? It's always been me holding you back."_

"_Esme, I don't see it that way and I will never see it that way. I love you and only you. I love our life and our family – our children and our granddaughter. I am the father I should be and you are their mother." _

"_It's not the same."_

"_No, it's not, but I wouldn't sacrifice any of it. I wouldn't give any of it up. I know it hurts. Don't think for a moment that I don't understand what you are feeling, but, my love, you have never held me back from anything. You have given me so much more than I have ever deserved."_

"_But I can't give you a child."_

"_We have six."_

"_One with your eyes and your nose. One of your own flesh and blood. You deserve that."_

"_And so do you, but that was not what was intended for us. If it was then you would have walked into Ashland that night and I would have run into you. I would have taken the exact same steps as Edward and would have been scared out of mind if you ended up pregnant just as Edward was over Bella. I might not have had the presence of mind to take the steps that were taken with Bella and I could have lost you then. I can't dwell on that not when I have had such a wonderful life with you."_

She had so many ideas running through her head based on the fertility treatments that humans utilize. I made it very clear that I wouldn't experiment on her.

"_In vitro isn't an option. First of all I can't get to your eggs without taking extreme measures and I won't hurt you or risk damaging you. Two, even if I could retrieve them there's the very real possibility that it is frozen in time and won't fertilize. Three, say we manage to get past the first two barriers, you can't carry it. Your body can't and won't physically change or has the ability to provide what a fetus needs to grow and a human surrogate is NOT an option. We saw what happened to Bella. I'm not willingly putting anyone through that, and in our case you are talking about two vampires. I doubt any human could survive such a child."_

_The look on her face had shattered my heart._

"_Esme, I've run through it all in my mind so many times. I know how much you desire this and I want it too, but it is impossible."_

For two days we hashed it out. She acknowledged at times that she was being unreasonable and I hurt for her pain, but I needed her to know, to understand, that this knowledge that I could potentially father a child had no bearing at all on our marriage or my feelings for her.

Part of it was that she had just need the release of talking or yelling about it with me. She needed to let out everything she had inside and I needed her honesty on the situation. I knew she didn't feel completely resolved when we headed home, but she was in a better place than we had arrived.

It had rarely come up again, but I was sure that it would be a theme of discussion on this trip now that we had met another child of a vampire. I knew old wounds had reopened.

I would listen. We would talk. I would comfort her, but I didn't want to spend the entire week dwelling on a situation that's circumstances when it came to "us" were the same as they were when I married her. The knowledge of Khalida's existence didn't do anything for us. Esme would never be able to grow round with our child. She would never give birth. She would never nurse our little one. We would never have a baby.

We had not had a week away just the two of us since the summer between Bella and Edward's junior and senior year at Forks High School. Since Renesmee was born, we hadn't been away from the family for more than three nights. We had spent almost a week on Isle Esme as a family before journeying into the rainforest. It had been a family vacation and it had been wonderful. Since we were already down this way our kids convinced us to take some time to ourselves and stay over longer while the family headed home.

We needed to take some time alone. I needed her.

We had said our goodbyes to them just a few hours ago when we parted ways in Rio de Janeiro. Esme had given me a few smiles and squeezes of reassurance, but after 90 years I would be a poor excuse for a husband if I didn't see the sadness she was trying to hide in her eyes. I had to erase the gloom. I didn't want to start this escape like this – silent, tense and sad.

We were nearing the shore and I steered in the direction of the small dock. It was then that I heard her.

I looked over at her again. Her face was still pointed toward the sky, but from her lips she hummed a wordless tune that she loved. She was trying to make amends and cheer up the atmosphere. She reached over to rest her hand on mine.

She reached the end of the song as we docked. I jumped out to tie up the boat before reaching back in to grab our few bags and take my wife's hand.

We walked silently hand in hand over the wooden planks and down onto the soft sand. She immediately kicked her shoes off and continued on. I looked over at her glowing in the moonlight. A light breeze lifted her hair and her scent filled my nostrils. I paused and she turned to look at me quizzically. It had been several weeks since we had any time alone and now we had plenty of alone and time.

I dropped the bags in the sand and pulled her to me with the hand that still grasped mine. I wrapped my free arm around her back and took the back of her head in my hand as I kissed her. She responded by leaning into me and placing her palm at the small of my back.

I didn't care that the villa was only twenty yards away or that the bedroom was only another few yards from that. I desired her here. I wanted her now. Damn the bed.

I scooped her up and had her back against the sand in an instant. Her mouth formed a little "Oh" of surprise, which was swiftly proceeded by her hand reaching into my hair and pulling my head and my lips back to hers.

There would be time to talk later.

* * *

><p><em>Esme's POV<em>

I looked over the top of my book at Carlisle's bare back and backside. I believe he was teasing me by wading out into the water just to midway up his behind and directly in my line of sight.

We had been traveling light on this trip. Although we had whatever we needed on the island we brought our two backpacks with us so as not to alarm TSA by traveling empty handed. Prior to 9/11 we used to think nothing of dropping everything and running off to the airport for a flight to Rio. If I chose to wrap myself in something other than Carlisle's limbs there were a few options in the closet.

We had been on the island twelve hours and so far so good.

Upon arriving we spent several hours rolling around on the sand in the moonlight before adjourning to the bedroom to pick up where we left off on the beach. It felt wonderful to have him all to myself with no possibility of interruption for the first time in a very long time.

I had gone over the multiple conversations with Khalida in my head on the silent journey across the ocean the evening before. _What had she meant by her "gift" to give?_

She was strange, but I liked her quite a lot and found myself at such ease with her. There was something off about her though and I couldn't take her remark at face value. It had to mean something else or maybe it was her odd way of teasing or her strange view of the world. Maybe she was just confirming my wish had come true with what I had – my six children who were still making their way home.

I stared at my husband as he let the waves lap at his body. The book was forgotten.

He was waiting for me to confess what was happening in my head. Last night had been his way of saying we don't have to talk about it now. I knew he was worried. After the last experience he had to be and rightfully so.

I felt the same frustrations I felt five years ago. It's what he knew to expect the moment Maysun made her declaration. I wasn't ready quite yet. I knew once I let it all out I would be like a wounded animal for a while. It had been so long since we had taken a break by ourselves and I wasn't ready for the pain-fest.

I wanted to enjoy a few more hours of this – laying on the beach and carefree even if we weren't so carefree below the surface.

"Hey, sparkly butt!" I called out to him and he looked over his shoulder with a grin.

"Yes, my dearest?"

"Stop teasing me," I grumbled with a wink.

"I was hoping to entice you into the water," he said with a slight shake of his behind.

I tossed the book aside and stood up, brushing the sand off as I walked toward the water's edge and began wading toward him.

"Next time just ask," I said as I closed in on him. When I was just a breath away I smacked him on the butt before diving below the surface knowing he would follow.

* * *

><p><em>Esme's POV<em>

Our skin was basked with orange tinges as we watched the sunset nestled in the hammock. We laid together, my head resting on his shoulder while his hand stroked my hair. My hand rested on his chest as I curled in toward him and felt his lips press against my forehead.

"I'm a selfish creature," I admitted.

Carlisle chuckled. "Hardly, my goddess. Why would you say such a thing?"

"Because I have so much and yet I keep pining for something that cannot be."

He was serious as he said, "Esme, you are not selfish. If anything I'm selfish for changing you and bringing you into this life – for coveting you."

Again I protested, "But I wanted to be coveted by you so you can hardly think yourself to be selfish when I wanted you, too."

"There's nothing I can do to change your body, which I think is perfect."

"It's not fair that we were designed to have such animalistic desire for each other – this incredible drive to mate, which for every other species leads to procreation. But no, not for us. We can screw like rabbits for eternity and your genetic material will forever ejaculate and swim into empty tubes while my eggs sit frozen and useless in the locked up safe called my ovaries. It's the curse of the female vampire – eternally post-menopausal, but with the sex drive of a 26 year old."

The air was still as I completed my rambling. His free hand moved to touch my arm.

"I know, darling. I know," he said softly, "I would give the world to have a Renesmee or a Khalida with you. The idea of a baby nestled in my arms with your eyes and ears."

"My ears?" I questioned with amusement.

"You have cute ears even if they don't always listen to me," he said with a teasing poke in my side.

"You think I'm being foolish," I said as a statement.

"No, I think you are being Esme."

"Should I just get over it? Accept what is and move on?" I asked my wise husband.

"I can't tell you to do that. All I can do is tell you what I always do – I love you and our children. If there was anything I could do to create a child that was biologically ours then I would. I'm always humbled that it is something you want so much and that I'm the one you want it with. The discovery of Khalida's existence doesn't change our situation and it doesn't change my feelings for you. You are my wife and the mother of our children - you are my world and I will never let you go," he said squeezing me.

"Thank you for loving me through my ridiculousness."

"You're not ridiculous," he insisted. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known. What you want is based on love – more love that you want to give and your love for me. We've gone around in circles on this so many times and I will go around again if that's what you need, but it doesn't change a thing."

"I know," I said quietly.

"What did you spend so much time talking to Khalida about?" Carlisle said against my temple attempting to move the conversation along.

"Everything," I answered honestly before adding with a laugh, "She's a very curious creature."

"She must have been considering I barely saw you this week."

I could hear the envy and the concern in his voice. He had been worried about me, and hurt that he couldn't get to me.

"She wanted to know about our family and me," I said trying to keep my last conversation with Khalida out of my head. I had pondered it too much.

"She spoke to everyone about you," he said, but that was no surprised to me.

"She said she did."

"She was enthralled with you. Did she ever indicate why?"

"Because I'm married to you," I said with a smile returning the poke.

"Ha ha," he said wryly.

"She wanted to know every wish and dream…" my voice wandered off as my mind drifted to my "one wish."

His fingers caught my chin and turned my face until my eyes met his. "Let's focus on reality and the things we are grateful for. I'll go first. I'm grateful for our wonderful family. I have six fantastic children, a beautiful granddaughter and a Jacob Black," he added with a grin.

"Well the legend may be true then," I said with a gasp.

"What legend hasn't already been true?" he asked not giving into my mania.

"The Quileute's – that they imprint on the person who best allows them to spread the wolf gene. We were wondering if it was true because we didn't know Renesmee's viability."

I could see him processing this thought, although there was something in his eyes that indicated that the thought had already crossed his mind.

"But if she can have children then there's the chance that they could…what would they be?"

I couldn't help, but giggles as the first thing that popped into my mind came blurting out of my mouth. "Vampwolf puppy children?"

"Esme," he chided but I continued.

The giggles wouldn't stop. "A child that turns into a dog at the threat of his grandparents, but then can also hunt wolves for a meal? We'll have to go live in the wilderness while the great grandpuppies are maturing."

While I was laughing at myself, Carlisle was serious as she said, "She may not choose Jacob."

I was immediately sobered and insisted, "She will."

"We don't know that."

It was my turn to provide him with solace as I touched his cheek. "If we've learned anything, Carlisle, we can't deny fate. It will always rule our lives. I give them three years before they are madly in love and five before they are married and a baby is on the way."

He shook his head. "My mind just doesn't want to go there yet. She's still a little girl."

"It has to soon enough, Dr. Cullen. She'll need you. We know things will not be normal if they mate between the species and the chromosomes. As unique as Ness is, any children she has with Jacob will be a blessing and be different. "

"And there's nothing I can do for now but support my granddaughter's decisions. There are no legends to track down regarding vampire hybrids bearing the children of shape shifters. We'll deal with what may happen when it happens. When it comes to the legend, they shift to protect humans against vampires so I think the whole idea of them imprinting to carry on the bloodline went out the window when his genetics told him to set his sights on the daughter of a vampire. There's something incongruent there."

"True, but I still believe in fate," I said as I relaxed back into his embrace.

He began his gratitudes again. "I'm grateful that fate gave me my gorgeous wife who's resting in my arms with her leg on my thigh."

I chortled as his hand slid down over my hip.

"I'm grateful that my husband isn't going to wear a stitch of clothing for the rest of the week," I said with a smirk.

"I'm not?"

"No, you're not."

"I'm grateful to have to have six more sunsets alone with the most beautiful woman in existence when I can cuddle with her and pick her brilliant brain."

"I'm grateful for my island, my children, my grandchild…and your hands."

"These hands?" he asked as he lifted them to look at them.

"Mmm, those hands," I said as I turned into him and began planting kisses on his chest as those hands slid down my back, one coming to rest on my behind as I began to slide myself further on top of him.

As my lips touched his I felt the smirk they were making.

"What?" I asked as I looked down into his amused eyes.

"You know whenever we try to do this in the hammock it always ends up a disaster."

"That's what makes it a challenge," I said triumphantly.

His hands caught my cheeks. "It's been so long since we have been alone and even though we have almost a week left our time is still limited. I love resting in this with you. I'd rather not risk breaking it tonight."

"Fine," I said as I began to climb out as the sun was now lower than the horizon. When I was on my feet he was instantly behind me, his hands wrapped around my stomach.

For a moment I was flooded with the thought of Khalida's words as my husband's hands rested over my forever empty womb.

"What is it?" he asked, sensing my distress.

_Be grateful for what you have like this man who adores you unconditionally_, I thought. _You can't change, but he loves you always just the way you are._

"Nothing," I said as I turned to face him. "I was just still playing the grateful game in my head."

"Let's go inside and I will explore every inch of what I'm most grateful for," he said as he took my hand and lead me into our home.

I slid my hand over my belly once more as I entered our room ahead of him.

_Your dream came true. Stop wishing for things that cannot be and live for what you have._

I turned around and let myself be swept into the waiting arms of my reality – the most incredible man on earth who waited centuries for me and for that I would be forever grateful.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Notes: THANK YOU for your love and your patience. I never expected it to take so long to complete this chapter. Breaking Dawn and the holidays took over the end of 2011 for me. I appreciate everyone checking in and the reviews. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter I hope I don't have to make you wait so long again.<strong>

**I've currently nominated for four Sunflower Awards. One is for The Sunflower Storyteller Award given for "the author whose writing brightens up your day," Best Humor Story for "The Rocky Horror Cullen Halloween Show," Best Esme for "The Esme Chronicles: The Vampire Years," and Best Romance Story for "Miracles and Mischief!" **Thank you for the nominations! Voting begins January 29.** The link to The Sunflower Awards can be found on my profile page under "Latest News." **

**Thank you to my fabulous betas on this story DecemberLeNoir and sweetishbubble. **


	6. Chapter 6

_Carlisle's POV_

"Come in," I called out in response to the knock at the door of my study.

"Carlisle," Jasper said with a nod as he came into the room. He paused when he reached the edge of my desk. "Do you have time for a walk?"

_Time for a walk._ When anyone in my family asked to go for a walk that more often than not meant they wanted to have a conversation that was not for one or more of their siblings or mother's ears.

Most recently it had been Emmett whom I walked with. Two days after Esme and I returned from Isle Esme I found myself in the forest with him. I wasn't surprised when he had asked me to go for a stroll. We both had wives who would do anything to be a mother and I knew Khalida had to have an effect on Rosalie, too.

"_How's Esme doing?" Emmett asked._

"_She's better now than she was a week ago."_

"_I knew that vacation was not going to start off how you hoped it would," he said regretfully._

_I remembered the first night on the beach and joyfully said, "It didn't start off badly."_

"_That's my man!" Emmett replied with a jovial thud on my back._

"_But, she had a rough go of it, too," I said soberly._

"_That's too bad," he said, his mood changing to match my own._

"_How's Rosalie handling it?"_

"_Her way. It's different for her," he said with a shrug._

"_In what way?"_

"_Her relationship with squirt. Rose is an aunt, friend and sometimes pseudo mom to Ness. Over the last few years, she's embraced what she has in that relationship as it has grown and not pined as much for things that can't be. Esme embraces it too, but she's grandma, which is a different dynamic. Esme adores Ness, but it's created more heartache for her by reminding her of what's not possible."_

"_I can't deny that Esme's still hurting," I said. "She's distracted by it. I can see it on her face and in her eyes. She knows that I love her and what we have together with every fiber of my being. I can't refuse her anything, but at the same time she has never made an unreasonable request of me. I'm the one who lavishes her with ridiculous gifts that she would be perfectly content without."_

"_Hey, but Carlisle, sorry to digress, but Esme may have been content without ever having an island named after her, but man, when you gave her that, you eternally handicapped me and Jasper," he said, trying to bring some levity to the conversation. "We'll never be able to top that, although you two certainly deserve the retreat for putting up with all of us."_

"_It's never 'putting up,' Emmett," I assured him. "You are our family – our children for all intents and purposes. We love you all. But what I was saying is that the one thing she wants, that is ridiculous because it is impossible, and that is the hardest thing. There is nothing I can do."_

"_Carlisle, it's not our fault and Esme doesn't blame you," he tried reasoning with me. "Esme may be frustrated with her own body or mad that her body can't do what she wants it to do – have your kid. She may even be filled with lots of 'what ifs?' Don't beat yourself up over not being able to give her a 'gift' of a baby. Esme is a smart woman and she's not foolish enough to look at you and think that it's your fault. As for Rose, she's a smart woman, too, but she blames you for some stuff, which is nothing new to you. Ness really has made not being able to have her own easier on her. Ness has healed Rose's heart in many ways that I never could. Now when Ness is fully grown and less in need of guidance, I'm prepared for Rose to revert back to how she felt before Ness. I don't know that it will necessarily happen, and Rose is anything but predictable."_

"_I'm happy to hear that you feel Ness has healed Rosalie's heart," I said, glad to hear that my eldest daughter had made such positive progression._

"_I wish Esme was affected the same way," Emmett said ruefully. _

"_So do I," I said with the same tone._

"_She'll be alright," Emmett said trying to reassure me. "Esme's a survivor and a fighter."_

She was both of those things and I knew that was what held her together sometimes when I wasn't enough.

That was a little over three weeks ago.

My mind returned to Jasper standing in front of me.

"Always," I responded to his question, closing my laptop. I followed him out the room, down the stairs and out the front door. I wondered what was on his mind, but knew as we took off running, that I would know when we slowed back down once we are out of range of anyone over hearing.

Within a few minutes we slowed to a strolling pace. We made small talk for a little bit before I decided to push us along to discuss whatever was on his mind.

"What's concerning you, Jasper?" I asked.

"Esme," he stated pointblank.

My head whipped around to look at him, but his eyes were focused on the trees ahead of us, his face calm.

"What about her?" I asked with unease.

"She's off," he affirmed.

"What do you mean, 'off?'"

Jasper chose his words and glanced at me as he spoke. "Whenever I feel down I know if I get within some proximity of Esme I'm probably going to get the lift I need. Her emotions – her energy, is so positive and full of love and life that it just exudes from her. Now don't get me wrong, she has her ups and downs too, but there's a certain broad spectrum of emotions that after so many years living together I am use to identifying with Esme.

"Ever since you returned from Brazil I've felt something different from her. I figured she had a tough go with Khalida."

"Emmett said he expected it too, but there was surprisingly little fall out with Rosalie."

"Rosalie just turned her focus to Ness. She's gotten better at working through her pain," Jasper confirmed.

"That's good to hear. I'm very proud of her."

"I think we all are, but I'm not worried about Rosalie at the moment."

"You're worried about Esme?" I acknowledged.

"She's felt melancholy, weary, and just…I don't know…weird," he said with a peculiar look on his face.

"Weird?"

"Esme is so giving of her emotions, but her concern has been internalized."

I knew I was giving him a blank look. _What was he saying?_

He sighed and said, "She's worried about herself."

"Over what?" My voice broke slightly.

"I was hoping you could shed some light on the subject, Carlisle. She's your wife," he said as he met my eyes again.

I thought through my experience with Esme over the last several weeks as I said, "We talked through a lot of her pain about the existence of a different kind of hybrid child while on the island. I knew she would be dealing with it for a while, but to me she seems to be doing quite well. You're making it sound like her emotions are in contradiction to her behavior."

"That would seem to be the case. Has Edward said anything to you?" I could hear his curiosity.

"No," I confirmed with a shake of my head. "But after so much time together, Esme has gotten very good at burying her thoughts if she doesn't want Edward to know what's on her mind."

"She can hide her thoughts, but not her emotions," Jasper said offhandedly.

"I would say she's very good at hiding her feelings from everyone except you," I said with more bitterness than I intended.

"Don't be angry, Carlisle," Jasper said and I could feel his wave of calm wash over me. "Esme must have her reasons, but all the same, it is odd behavior for her."

"I should go talk to her," I said starting to turn around, but Jasper grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Don't ambush her. It will probably be better to have the discussion when we're not around. Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and I are going to the movies tomorrow. I can tell Edward to head back to the cottage a little early tomorrow so you two can have some alone time."

"Thank you, Jasper," I said gratefully.

"It's no problem at all. Just let me know if there's anything I can do to help. We all love Mom very much and we want her to be okay."

I hugged Jasper to thank him. "And I am truly grateful for your care for her and for telling me this."

I released him and we turned to start heading back. A curious though popped into my mind as we walked.

"Does Alice ever feel like Esme and Rosalie do about children?"

He shook his head and said, "Alice enjoys taking care of people in her way, but she just doesn't have the motherly desire that Esme and Rosalie do. She is extremely content being an aunt. But that's all she knows. She didn't bring the human yearning to be a mother into this life as Esme and Rosalie did. If she had that desire she doesn't remember it and it wasn't ingrained in her psyche."

"How do you feel about it?" I asked.

"Similar to you and Emmett – envious of Edward," he said seriously. "He has an offspring and not one through venom or choice, but his actual flesh and blood. Whether he could appreciate it or not, he watched the woman he loves grow and change with his child inside her. He can look at that girl and see his wife's human eyes and his cheek bones and countless other combinations of him and Bella. The idea of having our own child is impossible, but if it were I would gladly raise a child or five with Alice."

"Five?" I was surprised by the high number.

"You've got six," Jasper teased. "And I grew up around big families. I would expect to have a lot of kids, but I guess it's easier this way. You and Emmett have to deal with your own feelings and your wives about not being able to procreate. Since Alice doesn't care, I just have to deal with my own and I don't have to burden her with it."

"I'm sure she would be happy to help shoulder the load," I assured him.

"I know, but those tiny shoulders don't need me weighing them down. If Alice is content then I'm content."

"Alice is much stronger than she looks," I noted.

"Don't I know it," Jasper said with a grin.

* * *

><p>It was right below the surface and I felt like a fool for not noticing it before. There was something in her countenance, her movements, her eyes that was slightly off as Jasper had suggested. I realized looking back that I had perceived some of the oddities, but just attributed it to her sadness over our lack of fertility. It really was different though.<p>

I sat in the living room half reading the medical journal in my hands, but really watching Esme. She had her sketch pad on her lap, her eyes locked on the page in front of her as her hand moved over it with the pencil. Every so often she would pause and rub her eyes. It was an unusual movement for her. She was concentrating so hard.

"Do I really have to do this now?" Ness whined loudly as she plopped down at the dining table after she had her lunch.

"Yes," Bella demanded putting several books down on the table. "You haven't worked on language skills in a week."

Renesmee touched her mother's face, but Bella shook her head and pulled away. "I don't care that it's not raining and you want to go outside. Two hours of Portuguese. Now."

She looked out toward the living room where Edward was sitting with pleading eyes. I looked at him and for a moment I saw his urge to give in, but then he steeled himself. "Ness, do your homework and think about how much better you'll be able to get by the next time we go to Brazil."

Renesmee let out the biggest dramatic teenaged sigh before opening her workbook.

Jacob skirted past teacher and pupil and sat down on the couch with the newspaper. I buried my nose back in my journal.

Twenty-two minutes later the dryer buzzed. Esme rose silently to retrieve the laundry. A minute later she was back in the room with a basket full of sheets under her arm. She picked up her sketch book and threw it on top of the bedding then headed up the stairs.

* * *

><p>An hour later I had moved onto the newspaper that Jacob had discarded in favor of a nap. Edward had exchanged his book for the piano. Renesmee and Bella still were hard at work.<p>

Edward was tinkering away when he started chuckling.

"What's so funny?" Bella called out in Portuguese before I could ask the question.

"I'm sorry. It's Esme. Her mind is wandering in a very strange fashion." He looked over at me. "Has she said anything about trying her hand at caricatures?"

"No, although I'm sure she would be very good at it."

"She's thinking about animated versions of the family. It's quite peculiar, and she seems to be focused on that and nothing else."

I folded up the paper remembering the concentration in her eyes as she drew earlier. "I think I'll go find out why she's making cartoon characters out of us."

I called her name gently as I approached our bedroom, but received no response. The door was open, and I was surprised when I found her lying on our bed in the middle of the afternoon.

"Esme, Edward said you are having some very animated thoughts, and I came to see why you are thinking about us in terms of cartoons." There was no response. The piano playing downstairs stopped.

"Esme?" I said louder, but she didn't move.

I rushed to the bed, calling her name again. Edward entered the room. Her eyes were closed and her mouth hung loose. I shook her shoulder gently as I would to rouse a patient. Her eyes slowly blinked open, and she looked surprised to see me.

_What was wrong with her? _

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Notes<em>**

**Thank you to my betas SweetishBubble and DecemberLeNoir!**

**I'm already working on the next chapter so you shouldn't have to wait too long to learn what is "wrong" with Esme, but I'm sure this scenario is familiar to you.**

**"Miracles and Mischief" is up for the Sunflower Award for Best Romance Story! Thank you for the nomination! The URL for voting is on my profile page under "Latest News." As you may have noticed, this site has temporarily deactivated all links on profile pages so you will have to copy and paste the link into a new window. "The Esme Chronicles: The Vampire Years" is nominated for Best Esme, and "The Rocky Horror Cullen Halloween Show" is nominated for Best Humor Story. I'm also honored to be up for The Sunflower Story Award given for "the author whose writing brightens up your day," which is awarded by the judges.**

**Thank you for your love and support of my work. It means the world to me. XOXO, Amy**


	7. Chapter 7

_Esme's POV_

I sketched aimlessly for nothing seemed to materialize on the page. I tried Edward, his piano, Renesmee in the dining room studying and just nothing seemed right. The eyes were wrong. The hair. Her ears. I couldn't focus – my eyes couldn't focus. It was the oddest sensation – like pressure against my lids.

I heard the dryer buzz and went to gather the sheets for our bed. Maybe there was just too much going on in the living room. _I should go work in my study_, I thought as I moved the bedding into the basket.

Before I headed upstairs I snatched up the sketch pad from the living room. No one paid attention or even looked up from the paper in front of their faces'.

I climbed the two flights of stairs to the third floor and slipped into our room. I placed the sketch book on a chair and went to make the bed.

I tucked the sheets in and smoothed over the cotton fabric. I layered the blanket and then the comforter that were more for aesthetics than comfort as we drew no warmth from the materials. I pulled the pillowcases on, missing the scent of Carlisle's hair that I lost from his when I washed it. I placed the pillows and then covered them before putting the decorative pillows in place on top.

The last pillow, a round one with a floral pattern on it that our granddaughter had made, had rolled away against the wall in the commotion of flying fabric. I went over and picked it and returned to the bed. I crawled up onto it so I could place it right in the middle of the two stacks of pillows. _Perfect._

I felt the pressure in my eyes again. I laid back against my pillow and closed my eyes. I tried to find inspiration in my thoughts before I returned to my sketchbook, but they seemed so jumbled….

* * *

><p>My shoulder was shaking. There was pressure on it. A hand.<p>

I opened my eyes and the light caught the soft golden hair above me. I smiled with satisfaction and surprise. He had done a good job entering the room undetected.

"Honey, are you sneaking up on me?" I asked teasingly.

I caught his eyes then and saw that something was off. "No, I called your name several times," he said with worry in his tone and a deep frown on his lips.

"Carlisle, she was asleep." I didn't even realize that Edward was standing in the doorway, but I could see him past Carlisle's shoulder.

Carlisle uncharacteristically hissed at our son. "That's not possible."

I began to sit up as Edward took two steps into the room as he watched me.

"Edward, what are you talking about?" I asked. "I just laid down for a moment. I just felt a little weary."

Edward was studying my face. "You were dreaming for several minutes," he insisted.

_You're wrong._ _I was trying to find inspiration._

The sound of a text message alert went off in Edward's pocket. He looked perturbed at me then grabbed the phone. He read the message and his expression shifted to one of surprise. He read the message out loud. "Alice says stay calm. Carlisle, don't freak out. Esme is going to be more than fine. She's on her way home."

"She was asleep," Carlisle said out loud, as if searching for answers. He hand wrapped around mine. I looked at his face, but he said to no one in particular, "We can't sleep."

The phone alerted Edward again. "Alice says she's running home. Carlisle, no freaking out."

I was staring at Carlisle – looking at him to make sense of what was being said. He didn't appear to have an answer and that worried me.

A moment later Bella was at the foot of the bed looking as scarily concerned as Carlisle and Edward.

"Esme, are you alright?" she asked.

"I…" What could I say? I didn't know what they were talking about. I had just closed my eyes. How much time had passed? "I feel mostly normal. I've felt weary recently, but that happens sometimes, right? Edward says I was dreaming…" I turned from Bella to Carlisle.

I heard the front door open and a moment later Alice was in the room. The look on her face was the complete opposite of the grave expression on her face. "Khalida is coming!" Alice affirmed with a grin.

"What does that have to do with Esme?" Carlisle shouted, making me flinch.

Alice's expression didn't change. "It has everything to do with Esme's condition." Then she added, "I can tell you the condition, but Khalida is going to explain to you how it came to be."

"What condition?" Carlisle asked. I could tell he was trying to reign himself in so he didn't yell again. His eyes darted to Edward. "Edward? Alice?" he begged. I was becoming very apprehensive.

I was shocked when Alice laughed at Carlisle's pleading. "Usually it's the doctor that says this."

"Alice!" he yelled.

She centered herself, grinned and said, "Khalida will have to explain the how, but Dr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen, you are having a baby."

The world tilted. What was happening? How could Alice be so cruel? What kind of sick joke was this and why was Edward playing along? I couldn't contain my outburst.

"Alice! That's not funny!" I shrieked.

Carlisle wrapped an arm around my shoulder and held me to him.

The grin disappeared and Alice spoke, "Mom, I'm not joking. I wouldn't do that to you. I know it's what you want more than anything. I wouldn't joke about such a thing. You're pregnant, and Khalida had something to do with making it possible. She's on her way to explain."

I dropped my hand to my stomach. This couldn't be true. I looked at Carlisle begging him with my eyes to tell me something, but I found no answers. He looked as lost and confused as I now felt.

Edward spoke up, "Alice isn't lying, Carlisle; what she sees is Esme pregnant."

I felt like I was going to cry. _Why were they doing this to me? _

Carlisle touched my cheek and I could see he was trying to compose himself. His voice was calm as he asked, "Esme, my love, did Khalida do anything to you?"

"I gave her a gift." I recognized the voice immediately. Khalida was standing just outside the door. She stepped into the room as her dark eyes flickered between me and Carlisle. "It was actually for both of you. Carlisle, I spoke to your wife at length. You are both so good and have so much, but the one thing your wife desired more than anything was to bring your child into this world."

I heard her words, but I couldn't believe them.

"It's not possible," Carlisle said to her.

The impish grin I had seen during our private conversations in the rainforest returned. "No, it's not, until it is. Six years ago it was impossible to you that any vampires could become biological parents, but your granddaughter proved that it was possible."

I glanced at Edward and Bella, but their eyes were locked on the mysterious woman.

Carlisle tried reasoning, "But there was some logic to that. Bella was still menstruating and was human. She could have children."

Khalida wasn't deterred. "You have seen all kind of gifts over the centuries, Dr. Cullen. Shields, mind readers, mood manipulators, vampires who see the future, cause pain, blindness, and so much more."

"Yes, but nothing that changes the physiology of another being," Carlisle argued.

"Call me the next evolutionary step," she said with a mischievous expression. "My gift is to make the impossible happen. In a way it's magic, but there is no illusion. What I make happen is real. If I will it to happen, it does, but I find that what I grant once it does not seem possible for me to bestow a second time. Esme will be the only one ever to receive this gift."

"Why me?" I heard myself ask. I was shaking.

Khalida's looked at me with caring eyes. "As I told you that night, you have a great heart, Esme Cullen, one of the best I have ever seen, regardless of our kind. And your husband may be the best of our kind of all time. I have never met one such as he, and doubt I will meet one like him ever again. He is all good and compassion and care for his fellow creatures. He loves everyone, but his family more and you above all. You two deserve happiness and peace always. I told you I was giving you what you desired most.

"I touched you and focused on your womb and gave life back to it. You'll bring a baby into this world as women have always done. It will be a nine-month experience. You are still a vampire, but you'll require rest now for the sake of your child. Your body will grow and change as your baby grows inside you. For twelve months, your body will be able to sustain your child, and then it will go back to how it has been since 1921."

She was so confidant and honest with her words. _Could it really be true?_

"I'm really pregnant?" I could barely speak.

"Yes, you are," Khalida whispered back.

I was on my feet a moment later, hugging my newest friend. I couldn't contain the sob that was rising in my chest as I said, "I don't know why you think we deserved this above all others of our kind, but I will never be able to thank you enough."

Khalida shushed me and took my face in her palms. She looked in my eyes and said, "I told you before. You and your husband have no equal when it comes to family and love. No one else will value this gift as you do and will. I'm happy to give it to you above all others."

I embraced her a bit longer before releasing her into my husband's arms.

"Thank you for this miracle," I heard him say.

Carlisle held me next. He was my anchor and I needed him to secure me then.

I was brought back to the room when Edward cleared his throat and said, "Khalida, thank you for being so generous to Carlisle and Esme. It truly is something that they have longed for always. I do have one question though, what will this child be?"

I turned in Carlisle's arms to watch her while she responded. She didn't waiver.

"That's a reasonable question, Edward. He or she will live their formative years as a human with a few upgrades, and when he or she comes of age, another wish will be granted. At that time you can decide as a family what the future for your child will be. And now I leave you to process this and tell the rest of your family. I will not leave you alone though. I know more questions will arise. I will check in throughout the pregnancy. Carlisle, you are a doctor. Treat your wife no differently that you would treat a human pregnant woman. This experience will be nothing like Bella's. I assure you, it will be as normal as it can be for her."

I looked toward Bella who was looking at me. I turned back to Khalida, but she was already gone. Alice headed right for the door. Edward held out his hand to Bella who took it and they fled right behind her, shutting the door and leaving us to collect our thoughts.

I looked up at Carlisle – my husband, my partner, my best friend, and the man who was father to our "children." His eyes were soft as he too was grasping what this meant.

"Carlisle," I whispered, "you're going to be a daddy."

He pulled me into his arms and held me tight as he broke into sobs. We held each other up as we made our way over to the bed. I couldn't stop crying and neither could he. I laid beside him, curled against him. Eventually the sobs quieted. His fingers twisted around a lock of my hair. I raised my eyes to his. They were waiting for me.

"Can this be real?" I asked.

"She was right when she said that Renesmee proved that the impossible is possible." He sounded so positive.

"But she's talking about magic!" I blurted out.

"Esme, my love, vampires shouldn't be able to sleep and yet you were dead to the world just a short time ago."

_Was he really as calm as he sounded?_

"But does that really prove anything? It's not like we can do a blood or urine test," I pointed out.

"Alice sees it. How could she see such a thing if it wasn't true? She wouldn't put you through it. She wouldn't have said if she wasn't absolutely positive." He seemed to believe it, but I still felt a tiny bit of doubt.

"Your faith is stronger than mine, Carlisle."

"I have sons that can read minds and manipulate anyone's mood. I have a daughter who can see the future. I have a granddaughter who is the child of two worlds. I want to believe that your nap and Alice's vision were signs that you are carrying a miracle inside you because I've seen magic and miracles in our own family more times than I dared to ever imagine before you came into my life."

"She said to treat me like a human. What's going to happen to me?"

"We'll have to wait and see."

"Do you think you'll be able to do an ultrasound?"

He laughed and pulled me toward him to place a kiss on my forehead. "I don't know, my love. My wife expecting our child is completely new. We are going to have to take this one step at a time. I will do anything for you as I have always." His hand touched my abdomen. "I am yours. You are the mother of our children."

"I could only be at the most a month along. It would have had to been on the island," I said, thinking out loud.

"There must be something in the air there," he said with mischief in his voice.

"Carlisle!"

His lips captured mine to smother my protest.

"I love you so much," he said looking down into my eye as if I was the most precious thing on earth. "You are going to be a mommy, Mrs. Cullen."

We heard the car containing Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper making its way toward the house.

"We should go talk to our children and granddaughter. I'm sure they are curious and concerned."

"Rosalie," I said with alarm worrying about how my condition could break my oldest daughter's heart once again.

"Remember what I said – one step at a time."

He helped me up off the bed and smoothed my hair.

"This is the best news we ever have had to give our family. Treat it as such," he said as he kissed my lips again. He took my hand as he lead me out the door and began our descent to the living room where we knew our children would be gathered to discuss our news.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Notes<strong>_

_**Thank you to my betas, December LeNoir and sweetishbubble!**_

_**Does this chapter feel like déjà vu? Carlisle remembers this moment in the original one-shot/chapter 1. I felt it was important to show you what Esme was thinking when they found out. I hope you enjoyed it. **_

_**Next up – Time to discuss their miracle with their kids.**_


	8. Chapter 8

_Carlisle's POV_

I kept my arm wrapped around Esme as we made our way out into the hall. I was trying to stay calm – show her how happy I was and at ease I felt, but inside I was terrified.

My emotions had gone from shock to overwhelming joy and gratitude, but my brain continued to process what it all meant. I had arrived at the moment of frightened out of my mind.

Esme had not been my human patient in more than ninety years. I first treated her as a girl with a broken leg in 1911. Then a decade later she was delivered to my hospital a destroyed shell, her life forfeit. There was nothing I could do to save her human life and yet the memory of her in her youth compelled me to make a rash decision.

There had been a few incidents over the decades where I had to take care of an errant injury to her being, but this was something completely different.

I believed in every one of her arguments. This shouldn't be possible and what could it possibly mean for her? What would happen to her?

I kept hearing Khalida's words over and over again: _Carlisle, you are a doctor. Treat your wife no differently that you would treat a human pregnant woman. This experience will be nothing like Bella's. I assure you, it will be as normal as it can be for her._

There was _nothing _normal about this and how could I treat her as I would a "human pregnant woman?" The term the trickster said so lightly as if all pregnant women were the same. Esme was not just a pregnant human. She was not a patient who was here today and gone tomorrow. She was my vampire wife.

What else would change? What else would make her "normal?" Was sleep just the beginning? What did that mean for her stamina? What about food? Would she be able to hunt? Would she need human food? Would she need to go to the bathroom? How would her body change? Would she feel pain? Would she cramp? Would she experience morning sickness? Would she grow? Would the contractions hurt? Would the labor be painful? Why 12 months? What would happen after the baby was born? Would she lactate? Would her body return to this state immediately? Although her signs so far were not as volatile as Bella's pregnancy didn't make the situation at hand any less dire or scary.

I didn't want to see her suffer in any way. I always had been fiercely protective of my mate. I loathed seeing her hurt or in pain. She was just as protective of me when it came to my own distress. I wanted to shoulder the load and ease her burden, but in this case I felt lost in my ability to keep her safe.

And that creature…Khalida. I was too driven by emotions – Esme's and my own. I should have demanded answers, but instead I had been too busy being grateful. She was a mystery, but obviously incredibly powerful. _A human with a few upgrades_ and _at that time you can decide as a family what the future for your child will be_. What did any of it mean? She could keep Edward out of her head and stop Alice from predicting her movements. She had no singular gift – she had many and they were unknown. I didn't think her intention came with any malice as it did without forethought.

_What was going to happen to my wife? _

When we had reached the living room where our children, granddaughter and Jacob were gathered, I met Edward's eyes first. He knew every thought and fear racing through my mind. He glanced away from me toward Jasper and my eyes followed. Jasper didn't know, but he felt my trepidation. His eyes bored in mine, and the flickered to Esme by my side.

Alice flitted over to him and placed a hand on his cheek. "It's fine, Jasper."

"Alice, what's going on?" Rosalie asked, sounding irritated. "You were texting and then you flew out of the car."

"This isn't my show. It's Esme and Carlisle's," said Alice.

Esme tightened her hold on my arm.

"Grandma, what is it?" Renesmee asked as she took Bella's hand.

"Everyone, please settle down," I asked.

"Listen to your own advice," Edward said under his breath. I looked him and I could see the same fear reflecting back at me. Esme was his mother. His wife was the one whose human life was destroyed by carrying their daughter to term. If anyone could empathize it was him.

"Mom, what is it?" Rosalie asked her voice changed to concern.

I looked at Esme's face. Her expression was mixed with so many emotions, but fear was not one of them.

"We have received some shocking news, to say the very least," Esme stated.

"Are you alright?" Rosalie probed.

"I will be," Esme said, her fingers sliding down my arm and into my hand. She took a deep breath and spoke the words, "I'm expecting."

"Expecting what?" Emmett questioned as it didn't make any sense to be expecting in the usual sense.

"A baby," Esme's voice had a bit of tremor in it again.

"I thought that was impossible?" Renesmee questioned with awe.

"It_ is_ impossible!" Rosalie shrilled. "Esme, what kind of joke is this?"

Esme flinch beside me, her biggest concern coming to light.

"Rosalie," I said. "We said the same thing less than an hour ago, but every sign at the moment indicates that it is to be true."

"I've seen it, Rosalie," Alice confirmed.

"You've seen what?" Rosalie mocked. "Esme or Carlisle holding a baby? They could be a thousand explanations for that."

"No, I've seen Esme obviously pregnant," Alice said sounding slightly annoyed. She didn't like being doubted.

"What happened, Carlisle?" Jasper asked.

Edward, Bella and Alice were aware of the events that transpired and sat quietly while Esme and I explained what have gone on with Khalida in our bedroom. There was silence for a moment when we finished telling them what we knew so far.

"And you believe that this is for real, Carlisle?" Emmett asked.

"Esme was unconscious indicating she was asleep and Alice has seen what she has seen, at the moment we are going to assume that it is true," I answered.

Emmett nodded and turned to Esme. "How do you feel, Esme?"

"Overwhelmed. Thrilled. Excited. A little scared," she said placing her free hand over where our hands were joined. "I'm going to need all of your support with this unexpected turn of events. I don't know how things are going to develop other than, in what I believe to be about eight months, you are going to have a new sibling."

I didn't have to possess Jasper's gift to sense how highly charged the emotions were in the room. There was skepticism and confusion, love and pain, happiness and worry.

Emmett broke the silence once again as he slapped his knee and said, "Well alright! Another rugrat! If he or she is anywhere near as fun as Nessie, I'm all for it."

Renesmee rushed forward to her grandmother and threw her arms around her. "Someone younger than me! Although it will be a bit strange to have an aunt or uncle who's in diapers," she said with a giggle. "I knew I liked Khalida."

Edward stepped forward to shake my hand and hug Esme. "No child could be luckier than to have you two for parents, and no one is more deserving of this than you," he said with a grin. "I can't wait to meet my baby brother or sister."

"Brother," Ness declared.

"Why do you say that, princess?" Esme asked with astonishment.

Renesmee shrugged and said, "I'm a girl. It's time for a boy to even out the Cullen's."

I turned to Alice and she waved me off, "Oh no! I haven't seen anything yet, but even when I do I'm not telling." She walked toward us and stood before Esme. She appeared to be so happy that she would cry as she said to her, "I never had the calling to be a mom. It's just not who I am, but I love being an aunt, and I'm sure I'll enjoy being a big sister." They embraced for a long moment and as they broke apart Alice looked Esme up and down to confirm, "Esme, we have some shopping to do."

Jasper came up beside Alice. "There've been moments when you two have radiated happiness, but this is something completely different. I can't help but be happy for you. This child is truly blessed," he said hugging us both. "It will be okay, Carlisle," he whispered in my ear.

Bella moved in next. "Brazil seems to be the land where impossible things become possible. You both took such good care of me during my pregnancy. I want to help you any way I can. Edward and I will even babysit."

"We will?" Edward teased.

"Yes, we will," she said nudging him in the side.

Esme was already watching Rosalie when I turned to my eldest daughter. Other eyes followed.

Rosalie's vision was locked on Esme as they silently communicated with their eyes. She approached Esme slowly. "I'm happy for you. I really am. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't envious. I know you will be great parents as you already are, but I won't deny that it hurts."

Esme took Rosalie into her arms. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for your gift, Esme. Khalida saw in you in a week what we've witnessed for decades. She may have said that she is doing it because of Carlisle, but, no offense Carlisle, your heart and your love has always been so completely unconditional. Even when we fought you, or our behavior was less than our best, you never wavered. We all look to Carlisle and admire him in our own way, but this is your gift. You have always wanted a child since you were a child. It wasn't fair what happened to you when you were human. You were so close to your happiness.

"I know watching you won't be easy, but I'll support you. I love you, Mom," Rosalie said, her voice cracking. I was so proud of her.

I looked around the room at our beautiful children – a family that stuck together by choice. They didn't have to stay. They could have left any time. Not only did they stay, but they embraced being our children. This didn't change how much we loved them. It only added to the love that already existed in our home.

At that moment I saw Jacob. He looked uncomfortable.

"Jacob?" I questioned.

"I guess congratulations are in order," he said with a shrug and raised his hand to absentmindedly scratch his neck. "Am I to understand that this baby will be human, but with upgrades? What does that mean?"

"I don't know. Khalida said she would check in on us. Hopefully she'll impart more information us then. We've told you everything we know."

"I should probably head to reservation and let my brothers know about this latest development," he said as he began heading for the front door shaking his head and mumbling, "You Cullen's. The weirdness never ends."

"Dog boy!" Rosalie growled after him.

"Touché!" he called back as the door closed behind him.

There was silence again.

"So what now?" Renesmee asked.

"Well, we go on with our lives. Besides sleep I'm not sure what else will change. We'll just take it one moment at a time," Esme said gently.

"And for now every moment is a mystery, but we'll take care of Esme…"

"And you, Carlisle," Bella interjected. "You are always this family's rock – our strength and who we turn to for guidance. We will support you both through this exciting time."

There were nods of agreement.

"Thank you," I whispered. _How had I come to this? What could I ever have done to possibly deserve one more blessing when I was already surrounded by so many?_

* * *

><p><em><em><strong>Thank you to my betas, December LeNoir and sweetishbubble!<strong>__


	9. Chapter 9

_Esme's POV_

"Narcoleptic Esme…Esme!" Emmett teased then yelled with a poke in my side.

"I'm fine!" I said a little too loudly.

"Esme, just go lie down." He sounded slightly exacerbated, but he could have just been dramatic.

"Emmett, I'm fine," I protested again.

"Mom, that's the second time today you have nodded off standing up. You haven't slept." I could hear how concerned he was, but I was going to be stubborn.

"I'm a vampire. I don't need sleep."

"You do now." I ignored him and went back to reading the magazine before me on the kitchen counter. "Esme, am I going to have to carry you upstairs and tuck you into bed? You know I will."

"Don't you dare, Emmett Cullen!" I said as I turned to stare him down.

"Mom," Edward said as he appeared at my side to diffuse the situation. His hand rested on my arms. "Come with me. Don't argue."

I sighed closing the magazine on the counter. He called out, "Bella, Esme and I are going are going to the cottage for a little while."

"Do you need me to come along?" Bella responded.

"No, thank you, love," he called back with a grin on his face.

He led me out the back door into the light rain and the short distance to his home with Bella and Renesmee. Edward and his family came over to the main house much more than we ever went there. I created the cottage to give them some privacy when they were first married, but also to give them a sanctuary.

"And we very much appreciate it," Edward said to my unspoken thoughts as he opened the door. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and took me over to the sofa. There was a fire burning low in the corner fireplace. He sat us down, keeping me at his side.

"Why are we here?" I asked. I had just let him take me out of my home and I hadn't questioned it.

"Because you are so exhausted that you just let me remove you from your home with no question or argument," he said teasingly as he placed a kiss on top of my head, but then he became serious. "Esme, your thoughts have been very jumbled the last two days. You have received the most incredible gift and shock at the same time. You know you have to take care of yourself. You know your body is going to act in ways that we thought it wasn't currently designed for. Right now the only thing you know you can and should be doing that is different is sleeping, and yet you refuse to rest. You keep blowing everyone off telling us that you are not sleepy yet, but I know and you know that is a lie. You just fell asleep standing up, Mom. Talk to me. Why won't you just go to bed?"

"'Just go to bed?'" I blurted out with a wave of my hand. "You say that like it's some natural thing, yet Edward, I haven't _just_ gone to bed since 1921."

"You haven't had to-" I cut him off.

"And that's exactly my point. For 90 years I have witnessed every moment of life passing me by with both eyes open. I've never missed a thing."

"We would wake you up if anything significant occurred," he said, trying to be reasonable and talk me through erratic train of thought.

"I believe our lives our significant."

"I'm not saying that isn't the case, but it's a normal rainy day in Forks, Washington, your husband is at work, and your children and grandchild are puttering around the house. You won't miss anything of significant importance."

I was silent. Did he really not know?

"I'm scared," I uttered.

"Of what?" he asked patiently.

"Of giving myself over to the darkness. Of being unconscious and unaware and vulnerable in a way that I have never known in this life. Can I even dream and if I can what will it be of?"

"So you fear nightmares?"

"I fear everything about it." My voice was getting higher, but so was my level of anxiety. "I'm not supposed to be able to sleep anymore. It's not the way a vampire is designed. I'm supposed to be aware and alert at all times. During my first marriage, sleep was my protection. It was where I could escape the horror of my reality. In my dreams, I was able to be happy and sometimes even conjure up a beautiful doctor who had treated a stupid girl in her youth."

"Esme, you have never been stupid."

"That's beside the point," I said giving him a playful pat on the arm. "The point is I needed the rest from my traumatic days and the opportunity to flee into dreamland. My dream came true. That doctor is my partner for forever. Dreams can come true."

"Yes, they can, but most are just dreams. Renesmee dreams every night and rarely what goes on in her mind while she sleeps comes to fruition," he explained.

"Rarely, but things do come true."

"More from moments of coincident than her willing it from her dreams."

"But it does happen," I argued.

"Esme, this is irrational."

"Is it?"

"Yes, and I think it's the lack of sleep that's making you paranoid. I can understand the concerns about vulnerability. It was part of what I found fascinating in watching Bella sleep when she was human and still do with Ness, but they and you are surrounded by people who love you and will protect you. I understand your insecurity because you have been alert and able to put your guard up so easily if ever necessary. You need to trust that we will be your protectors while you rest. We can even help you with the dream part if your fear is nightmares. I can check in on your dreams and if I'm not around Jasper can sense if you are distressed. You are not alone in this Esme even if you feel like you would be."

My son held me to him and I stifled a yawn.

"Look, it's busy and noisy up at the house. Just lie down here where it's quiet. I'll stay with you and chase away any bad dreams."

I was still skeptical.

"Esme, you are going to reach a point where you are so exhausted that you are going to drop where you are standing. You have already dozed off twice today. You have a choice to limit your vulnerability by taking a nap here and now or have Emmett draw a sharpie mustache on your face while you are passed out on the kitchen floor."

"He wouldn't dare!"

"No, he wouldn't to you. Jacob, yes. You, no. But you get my point," he said with a teasing ruffle of my hair.

I nodded defeated and Edward offered these words of encouragement. "Focus on the reason why you are going through this. Esme, your last unfulfilled dream is coming true. You'll feel better once you rest and will come to appreciate how wonderful sleep is. In this case sleep means you are taking care of yourself so your unborn child is taken care of."

He was right as Edward so often was. I kicked off my shoes while he got up to add a log to the fire and retrieve a blanket from a basket across the room.

"That's not really necessary, Edward," I said point toward the quilt.

"It's for comfort more than warmth." I could hear the fatherly tone in his voice that I so often hear when he's talking to his daughter.

"It's still not necessary," I said being just as difficult as Renesmee.

"Humor me, Mom," he added as he unfolded it. "Lie down."

I grabbed his hand and expressed in my thoughts what I verbally couldn't get out. He sat down again on the sofa at the far end and I lay down resting my head in his lap. He tossed the quilt over me and stroked a hand over my hair.

"I'm anchored in. I'm not going anywhere," he said quietly. "Sweet dreams, Mom."

"Thank you," I whispered. I closed my eyes. I could hear the rain falling against the windowpanes and the crackle of the embers in the fireplace. I didn't know what exactly would happen next.

Then Edward, his hand still gently caressing my head, began to softly hum my favorite tune…

* * *

><p><em>Carlisle's POV<em>

I had been hoping to get out of work a little early or at least on time, but a half hour before the end of my shift a patient with a broken ankle hobbled into the ER. An hour later I was finally getting behind the wheel of my car.

The last two days since we learned of this miracle my mind has not stopped racing. I've had two shifts since then that luckily, for the safety of the patient, haven't involved major surgery. There were the initial reactions of disbelief, joy and excitement from our family that have turned into deep reflection and uncertainty. No one knows quite how to behave.

I knew from our experience with Bella that we had combed through every possible scrap of information regarding procreation and vampires in existence, but I never had read anything like "What to Expect When You're Expecting" or "The Everything Pregnancy Book." Both were now on my iPad along with about a dozen more.

Esme was completely out of sorts. Most of the time she was moving around the house like it was business as usual and then other times her mind seemed to be a millions miles away or worse, that she was quite literally in shock.

We were only two days into this incredible reality and we were a mess.

We had to get it together as a couple and as a family. It wasn't that we didn't support each other; we just couldn't get a grasp on what to do. Esme had to snap out of it. All the questions and concerns that plagued me in the hour after we found out about her miracle were still there. The only way we were going to get answers was to start testing them. I didn't want to push her, but she need to be healthy and she need to be taking the actions necessary for her own health as well as the baby's – _our_ baby's.

I pulled into the garage and turned off the engine allowing myself to once again conjure up an image that I had so many times pushed away over the past 90 years for my own sanity – Esme with our newborn in her arms. The first time Edward placed infant Renesmee in Esme's arms I was overcome watching the sight before me. The joy and love on her face as she tenderly held a miracle in her arms left me speechless and at the same time jealous. Of course I was thrilled, but Edward and Bella had stumbled unknowingly and not for wanting into possessing this most precious gift. Edward made Esme a grandmother, but I could not make her a mother in the same sense.

That had all changed.

I walked into the house longing for nothing more than to see Esme's face, but I sensed no hint of her.

"Welcome home, Grandpa!" Renesmee called and jumped up from her seat to give me a hug. Ness has always been affectionate, but along with becoming more of a teenager, her affection had being waning lately. Since Sunday, she had been rather clingy to anyone who was available. Anyone on the receiving end would never begrudge it.

I held her for an extra moment. "Thank you. Where's your Grandmother?"

"She's at my house with my Dad. They have been there for a while."

I looked into the living room where the rest of the family was gathered. Everyone was staying close together.

"She's fine, Carlisle," Alice said with a dramatic sigh.

Bella spoke up, "I think he just wanted to give her some peace and quiet."

"Should I head over there?"

"It's been several hours. I'm sure she will be very happy to see you," Bella said with a smile.

My eyes went to each face. Jasper gave me a nod. Emmett a wink. Rosalie didn't look up from her kindle. Bella and Alice both shooed me with their hands.

I placed my bag down by the staircase and took off the heavier raincoat I wore for appearance sake and stowed it in the closet before heading out the back door toward the cottage.

I could smell the smoke from wood burning in the fireplace as I approached. I could see the light through the window as I neared the front door.

"Come in, Carlisle," I heard Edward say quietly before I could even knock.

I went inside and walked into the living room to find a spectacular sight. I had a feeling that I was going to see many wonders over the next eight months.

Esme was curled up on the couch on her side. A blanket covered her body and she was using Edward's lap as a pillow. One of his hands rested on her caramel locks. Her eyes we closed and she didn't move an inch to acknowledge my presence. She was asleep.

He gestured to the chair closest to him and I took it. My eyes never left them.

"She hadn't slept at all since Khalida's announcement," my son said, keeping his voice low and even so as not to wake her. "I know she told you she napped yesterday, but that was a lie. She didn't want to worry you."

"Why?" I asked with the same tone.

"Use your thoughts, not your words. Let's keep the disturbances to a minimum," Edward said.

I nodded and thought the same question, _"Why?" _

"I'm sure she'll open up to you now that I got it out of her, but she's been frightened by the vulnerability of sleep. After 90 years of complete awareness, I can't blame her for being scared by the idea of shutting down for hours a day. She's also been afraid of where her mind would wander while she was asleep."

"_Do you mean dreams?"_

He nodded. "She was afraid of bad dreams?"

"_Why?"_

"All of her good dreams from her human life have come true or are coming true. She is afraid of there being nothing left to dream about but bad things and that they could come true too. She knows that she is being irrational, and I would also blame her paranoia on her lack of sleep. Her judgment has been a bit clouded. I'm hoping she'll feel a little more like herself when she wakes up."

"_And what has she been dreaming about?"_ I thought out of concern.

He grinned and looked down at her head giving it a light pat. "I don't want to give up all her secrets, but there's been nothing frightful. It has been nothing but good thoughts."

I wondered if she would share her dreams with me when she wakes up, I thought to myself, but Edward responded anyway.

"That's if she remembers. She didn't really seem aware of her dream on Sunday although so much happened so quickly after that it's not surprising," he said thoughtfully. "It may be very human like that some stay with her while others disappear when she opens her eyes."

"_How look has she been asleep?"_

"A little over three hours. I didn't know how long she would be out once I convinced her to go down."

"_Do you think we should wake her?"_ I asked as I watched her peaceful face.

"You're the doctor," he said teasingly. "I think we should probably help her get on a regular sleep schedule at night. The fact that she is napping at 8 p.m. is probably not a good way to go about that. I would say you could carry her back to the house and put her to bed, but that wouldn't help her with her fear of being vulnerable. Going to sleep one place and waking up having been moved somewhere else when she was unconscious is exactly the type of thing that would set her back."

"_I completely understand."_

"So maybe you should wake her up and then take her home to bed."

I nodded. _"Thank you for taking care of her."_

He shrugged. "I've loved her for nearly as long as you have, Carlisle. I'll always be there when she needs me."

I stood up and squeezed his shoulder before lowering myself in front of him and my sleeping beauty. I touched her shoulder and gave it a gentle, but firm nudge. "Esme, my love, time to wake up."

She didn't stir.

I stroked my hand over her cheek, "Esme, darling, it's getting late. It's time to go home."

She still didn't move and Edward chuckled.

I shook her shoulder a bit harder this time. "Esme, it's time to get up."

Her head bobbed and her face reacted with a wrinkle of her nose and a tight squeezing of her eyes before they blinked open. I tilted my head to meet her gaze.

"Hello, sleepyhead," I said with a smile.

She smiled back and said, "Hi," then asked, "What time is it?"

"A few minutes after 8," Edward said above her.

She turned over to look up at her son, obviously still collecting her bearings.

"Thank you," she said as she sat up and looked toward the dark windows. "PM right?"

"You are correct. You slept for about three hours."

"Why did you wake me?" she grumbled. She still looked very tired.

"So I could take you home and put you to bed in our bed," I said amused by her sleepy grumpiness.

She nodded and ran her hand over her face. She went to stand up, but to my utter surprise she was slightly off balance and I caught her in my arms.

"Do I need to carry you home?" I asked out of concern, but it was something I would happily do.

"No, no. I can walk," she said holding me a moment longer before reaching down to slip her shoes onto her feet. "Are you walking back with us, Edward?"

"Of course," he said. "I told you I would be nearby and I'll talk with Jasper."

I was confused.

"We're just going to keep an eye on Esme while she sleeps and keep the bad dreams at bay."

"Thank you…for everything," Esme said to Edward, giving him a hug.

Our return to the house was swift and we were received with embraces by Renesmee once again.

Esme waved to the living room and mumble "Good night," before taking my hand to walk upstairs. When we entered our room she headed straight for the closet.

"Do you want me to run you a bath? It will help you relax."

"I think I'm already relaxed," she called back.

I removed my suit jacket and tie and kicked my shoes off as I listened to her shift items around in the closet.

"What are you doing in there?"

She reappeared a moment later wearing one of my t-shirts and nothing else. It looked much better on her than it ever did on me.

"I hope you don't mind. My wardrobe is relatively limited when it comes to clothes to sleep in. The things I have for our time in bed are meant to be taken off."

She sauntered over to the bed and removed the decorative pillows with an un-Esme-like toss onto the floor and pulled down the comforter and sheets.

"I wouldn't mind something that I can take off," I said as I walked over to turn down my side.

"Not tonight," she murmured as she climbed onto the bed.

I didn't want to get into the bed fully dressed so I headed toward the closet to look for something to change into, also aware of my wardrobe's inadequacy when it came to sleepwear. I found the pajama pants that Alice had gotten all the men in our family for Christmas mornings since Renesmee joined us. I put them on and left on my undershirt.

Esme was sitting cross-legged on the bed, her head lowered in her hands. She looked up and gave me a tired smile as she caught sight of the Santa themed pajama pants. "Ho Ho Ho, Carlisle."

"My wardrobe isn't ready for this either," I said as I sat down on the bed and reached for her tense shoulders to begin massaging them. "I thought you said you were relaxed."

"Did Edward talk to you before you woke me up? About my sleeping problem?" she asked hesitantly.

"He did," I said as I continued to rub her shoulders and place a kiss on the back of her head. "He said you lied to me about napping yesterday."

"I'm sorry. He told you about my anxiety?" she said as a question.

"Yes, and I won't leave you. You have to rest, my love, and we should try to get you to sleep nightly so you aren't exhausted during the day. It's the one human like thing we know you need to adjust to. We should start with this one and then try to figure out what other changes are happening if there are any others."

"I'm so happy and excited, but fear of the unknown has sunk in, Carlisle. I'm set in my ways. I'm used to this life. This is what I have wanted for so long, but now that I have it…I guess I never thought the reality would be so scary."

"From my conversation with Edward, he said your nap went well. Do you remember your dreams?"

She shook her head.

"You didn't wake up feeling distressed. You actually woke up and smiled."

"I was happy to see you. I missed you."

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her up toward the headboard. I leaned against it and rested her against me. I looked down into her tired eyes as I cradled her head in my arm against my chest.

"You're going to be alright. Women have been given birth since the beginning of time. You have been through this before and you won't be alone this time. We need to figure out what the changes are as they come along. We also need to enjoy this. We need to cast aside the fears. Yes, it's scary that these changes are happening to you. I'll admit that I'm scared, too, but Esme, we're having a child, and we need to celebrate that and enjoy this incredible time. You are surrounded by so much love and we are going to take care of you and our newest family member."

She stretched a little then wrapped one arm over me as she snuggled against me.

"You are forever safe in my arms, Esme Cullen. I promise you that," I swore as I leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"And there's nowhere that I feel more safe," she said with a yawn.

"You should try to sleep again, my goddess," I said as a twirled a lock of her hair in my fingers. "I'll keep the boogie man away."

She chuckled and looked up at me. She reached up to touch my face.

"I love you," she said. "I don't know if sleep will come that easy."

"Do you want me to sing you a song or tell you a story?" I said half teasing, but also half serious.

"Tell me a story," she murmured.

I smiled as she pressed her cheek against my chest.

"Once upon a time, a lonely healer walked this Earth. He met many people throughout his journeys, but never someone who would be a true companion. One day he met a young man who he felt a deep connection with. He brought the young man into his life and continued on with his travels. The healer was happy for he was no longer alone and had found a true friend. Several years later the healer came upon a beautiful princess who had fallen from the tower she had been trapped in by a vile creature who tried desperately to destroy her spirit. She had tried to set her spirit free to escape the evil creature, but she had leaned too far while helping it escape. The healer was struck by her beauty and saw that her spirit was still with her. He set about healing her and reuniting her beauty with her spirit. When she finally awoke healed and strong, he was stunned to discover that she not only wanted to travel beside him, but she loved him and he loved her in return. For some time thereafter, the healer was in disbelief that he found so much happiness and was no longer alone.

"Over the years he added more companions and they called themselves a family. The healer and the princess loved each other very much and wanted their family to grow, but when the princess fell she lost the ability to bear children. It hurt the healer that someone as good, kind, and loving as the princess couldn't be the mother that she longed to be. The princess became known throughout the kingdom for her good heart. One day the she came upon an enchantress who immediately saw her goodness and with no hesitation granted the princess the miracle she long for. The healer and the princess were overjoyed and nine months later they had a perfect newborn that they raised together for eternity…Esme?"

She didn't move at all. She was asleep, something so human, but she was a vampire. There was no breathing. She was silent and perfectly still. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. For hours I kept her in my embrace. A few times she adjusted herself. Her movements came without warning and were quite swift.

At 4:35 a.m. her eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning," I said leaning over to kiss her.

"Is it morning?"

"It's early. It's just after 4:30."

She buried her face against my chest and I heard her murmur. "It's not time to get up yet."

I couldn't help, but laugh. "Are you feeling better about this sleeping thing after experiencing it?"

She looked up. "A little, but I meant that we can stay here for a while longer. Did I miss anything?"

"Well Mrs. Cullen lay perfectly still for most of it while I watched her sleep and she was devastatingly beautiful."

"Perfectly still?"

"Well you did move every once in a while, but when you did it was rather quickly and not much at all. You weren't rolling all over the bed if that's what you were wondering. You stayed in my arms."

"My favorite place," she said as relaxed against me. "Do you have to do anything before work?"

"I'm off today, love. I work the night shift tomorrow. My job today is to figure out my pregnant wife's needs."

"I need you," she punctuated with a kiss on my chest.

"You have me always. I meant other needs. Like your diet."

"I'll make breakfast for Renesmee and see if anything is appealing."

"There's a possibility that it may still be unappealing, but you may need it."

"We'll cross that road when we get there. Since she won't be up for a few hours I'd like to spend at least the next hour snuggling with my husband."

"As you wish, princess."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's note<strong>_

_**Thank you for your reviews and feedback! Please continue to share your thoughts. **_

__**Thank you as always to my betas, December LeNoir and sweetishbubble!**__

__****I published a new one-shot called "Self Portrait" that I hope you will take a look at if you haven't already. It is a bit of a flash forward for "The Esme Chronicles" of activities that will take place in the 1960's. Summary:** ****Esme leaves her family to go to Paris for an internship. A flirty colleague is intent on getting Esme into bed, but she is determined to stay true to her husband in this city where passion rules. Will she find her release through her art or will she give into this handsome Parisian?******__


	10. Chapter 10

_Carlisle's POV_

I could hear the commotion in the kitchen from upstairs. There were too many voices egging my wife on as I descending the steps with my bag and coat. I had to leave for work on the night shift in a few minutes, but first I had to diffuse the situation in the kitchen.

"Just try it, Esme!"

"You're not going to know if you can eat it unless your try, Mrs. C."

"I don't know, Grandma."

"If you are going to eat something, Esme, make sure it's something that will be easy to bring back up if you don't digest it."

"What is going on in here?" I asked as I entered the chaos that was our kitchen. "Seth, when did you get in?"

"It's spring break and I just stopped home for a few days. I came over because I didn't get two steps in my front door before hearing about the latest Cullen development. Congratulations, Carlisle."

"Thank you," I said surveying the room. Emmett and Edward were leaning casually against the far counter looking purposefully nonchalant. Renesmee, Jacob and Seth were up against the island where it looked and smelled like Esme had just placed their dinner.

For not being able to eat human food, Esme excelled at preparing it. Her secret was to pick the best chefs' recipes and then follow them exactly. There was rarely a complaint in this kitchen when she made something for those who could digest it.

Although she had joked about trying human food the day before, she hadn't gone through with it. I figured if I got her to go to bed two nights in a row that was a small victory. I wasn't going to push food upon her so I was surprised that she was staring at plate containing gourmet pizza.

She looked up at me and guiltily looked back down. Five pairs of eyes followed me to my wife's side. I placed my hand on her back. "Do you feel hungry? Does it smell appealing?"

"I…I don't know," she said, her frustration and hesitation very obvious. "It doesn't smell as bad as usual," she added meekly.

"You could try a little and see what happens overnight. If you digest it in your sleep, we'll know."

"And if not, then you'll get to experience morning sickness tomorrow," Emmett teased, which earned him a punch in the arm from Edward.

Esme mouthed "thank you," toward Edward and I wrapped a protective arm around her waist.

"Have a bite. Literally. And get some sleep tonight. No skipping because I'm not here."

She nodded, but I could see slight defiance in her eyes as she said, "Yes, _Dr._ Cullen."

"Khalida said to treat you like a human patient," I said gently.

"I don't want to be a patient. I want to be your wife," she said with a pointed chin.

I didn't like the direction this conversation was taking in front of so many onlookers. "You are my wife, and I want to make sure you take care of yourself."

"Doctor's orders?" she said with a frown.

"Husband's concerns," I responded cautiously.

"It's the pregnancy hormones, Carlisle," Emmett said with a chuckle. He dodged Edward's fist this time.

I saw the clock on the microwave. "I have to go," I said placing a kiss on Esme's cheek. "We'll talk about 'doctor's orders' tomorrow. Please rest."

"Have a good night," she said quietly as she picked up a piece of pizza and took a bite.

Cheers went up from the men in the kitchen and I made my exit. Renesmee caught my sleeve as I opened the front door.

She hugged me and whispered, "Good night, Grandpa. I'll take care of her."

Before I could say anything she had bounded back toward the kitchen.

* * *

><p><em>Esme's POV<em>

I was curled up on the sofa in our bedroom wearing a modest nightgown and robe that Alice had brought home that day.

"_Next week I am taking you shopping. I don't care if I have to drag you out. Here are a few things to help you make it until then,"_ I remembered her saying as she handed me the shopping bag containing sleepwear.

I had my iPad on my lap and was feeling frustrated as I read WebMD. Treating me like a human seemed ridiculous; I wasn't one. No matter what signs or symptoms manifested as baby Cullen grew inside me, my heart did not beat and my skin was still impenetrable. I still needed to feast on blood. I wasn't human. I was a peculiarly pregnant vampire with a half a piece of pizza sitting in my stomach.

I clicked on "Week 5" in the Pregnancy Center to see what a human would be going through this week.

_**Baby:** Your baby is still tiny, but its heart, brain, spinal cord, muscle, and bones are beginning to develop. The placenta, which nourishes your baby, and the amniotic sac, which provides a warm and safe environment where your baby can move easily, are still forming, too. The umbilical cord forms and connects your baby to your blood supply._

_**Mom-to-be:** You might suspect by now that you're pregnant. You may also notice some early symptoms of pregnancy:_

_Feeling nauseous (called morning sickness, although it can happen at any time of day or night)_

_Tingling or soreness in your breasts and darkening of your nipples_

_Needing to pee more often_

_Feeling more tired than usual_

_**Tip of the Week:** You'll want to schedule a visit to your ob-gyn as soon as you suspect you're pregnant. Starting prenatal care early and keeping up with your appointments is a large step toward having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby._

I rubbed a hand gently over my belly. I didn't have a blood supply to connect to other than the blood that I supplied myself in the way of sustenance. Would that blood work? Would that be the connection? I had no urge to urinate or feeling of nausea. Tired seemed to be the only symptom. I chuckled at the idea of going to an OB-GYN. There would be no appointments because I wasn't human, and even if I changed and grew nothing would be normal about this pregnancy.

I glanced toward the bed. I knew I should go to sleep, but it wasn't as appealing without Carlisle as a pillow. I felt bad for giving him a hard time. I knew he was hardwired to snap into doctor mode. He was a doctor long before he was a husband, but I rarely had need for the medical doctor. I knew he wanted to take care of me and make sure I was healthy and safe, but I needed him to do that as Carlisle and "daddy," not Dr. Cullen. We had to find a happy medium. We had two other vampires who had gone to medical school including one who delivered a vampire hybrid baby. There was no reason that everything that I needed a doctor for had to fall on him.

There was a knock at the door. I pulled my robe tighter and looked toward the door. "Come in," I called.

Renesmee's head popped around the edge. "I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, I'm not ready to sleep yet," I said waving her over. She smiled and came around to take a seat next to me on the sofa.

"I heard that you were having trouble sleeping, Grandma," she spoke with such seriousness for her youth. "You're afraid of missing things?"

"You've always had to sleep, princess."

"It doesn't mean I don't fear missing things with everyone else awake all the time, but I know I have to sleep just like you have to now." She shrugged. "It's not that bad. You get to dream."

"And dreams can be wonderful." Renesmee giggled in agreement. "What does that giggle mean, young lady?"

"I just agree with you, Grandma," she said as she leaned over and gave me a hug. "I came to see you because I though with Grandpa at work that you might need some company."

"That's very sweet of you."

"You could come to my room and we could watch a movie. Chill out and relax?"

She was a smart young one.

"It depends. What movie are you screening this evening?"

"Rear Window. I'm making my way through the Hitchcock movies."

"Are you a little young for some of them?"

Her response was an incredulously look that I recognized as my own. It was the one I gave Carlisle when he said something that hinted at him being a man not of this time. I pursed my lips to keep from laughing.

I placed the iPad on the table and stood up. "I wouldn't mind some Jimmy Stewart and Grace Kelly."

Renesmee took my hand as we exited the room and headed down the hall to her room. What had once been Edward's room became our granddaughter's room when she was little. Edward didn't have use for it, and we certainly didn't mind keeping Renesmee overnight to give the newlyweds some alone time. Now Edward was staying close to watch over me so Renesmee was here as well.

The room had changed often in very few years. As Renesmee grew, her room adapted. It now looked like the room of a young teenager. She went over to the TV and touched it on while placing a Blu-ray disc in the player. She grabbed the remotes and jumped up onto the bed and placed the pillows up against the headboard. She patted the spot next to her.

"Come on, Grandma!"

I climbed up next to her and settled against the pillow. She pressed play and turned down the lights then placed her head against my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her as we took in the view from Jeff's apartment on a hot day in New York City…

* * *

><p><em>Carlisle's POV<em>

I walked in to the house to silence. No one was in the living room. My first thought went to Esme. I ran up the stairs and the scent of my family became stronger as I went higher.

The door to our room was open, but that wasn't where the scents were emanating from. I rushed toward Renesmee's room and was met by Alice in the doorway with a demanding look and a finger to silence me at her lips. I went to open my mouth and she tapped her lip to silence me. She stepped forward and reached a hand out to mine. I took it and she lead me into the quiet room. The morning light slipped in around the edges of the curtains. Emmett and Rosalie were against the far wall, while Bella, Edward and Jasper were hovering just inside the door. All eyes were on the bed and I followed their gaze.

The miracles kept coming.

My granddaughter and my wife were laying there asleep. Renesmee was curled into Esme who had an arm wrapped around her and her face resting on her "princess's" curls. Nessie's palm was pressed against Esme's cheek.

"Are they sharing a dream?" I asked with wonder to Edward, who stood to my left.

"It's so strange. There's a part of Esme's mind that sees what Renesmee is seeing, but she's also having her own dream. At times they seem to intersect, but then separate again."

"What are they dreaming about?"

Edward chuckled. "I told you before, Carlisle, that's up to Esme to tell you."

I was in awe. "How long have they been like this?"

Bella spoke up, "Renesmee invited Esme to watch a movie with her around 9:30. They were asleep before it ended."

"They will probably be awake soon," I said looking at my watch. It was a little after 7:30 a.m.

"Yes, they will, so be quiet and just watch. Take it in, Carlisle," Alice said as she slipped over into Jasper's arms.

I could hear Renesmee's heart and light breathing – so even, so gentle. My beautiful wife looked so peaceful. It was a different demeanor than the one she wore the last few nights as she slept beside me. I couldn't explain it, but I wanted to capture it. It would be in my mind forever, but with a quick movement it was on my iPhone as well. Then I just stood back and watched the beautiful scene before me until Esme's eyelids started to move.

She only had eyes for the girl next to her as she grinned at her sleeping form. She placed her hand over Renesmee's and gently removed it from her cheek then placed a kiss on it. It was only then did she look up and realize that they weren't alone.

"What's wrong?" she mouthed at me as to not wake Ness.

I shook my head and whispered, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

She gestured with confusion to the audience in the room, not convinced that everything was right as rain.

"Imagine what we were watching," I said.

She was thoughtful for a moment and then I saw the realization in her eyes. "Oh!" she whispered with a knowing shake of her head.

She leaned over and kissed her granddaughter's forehead again and then shooed us all out of the room.

I let everyone go ahead of me and as I exited I heard a sleepy voice ask, "Grandma?"

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

I headed down the hall into our room and sat down on the sofa. I picked up Esme's iPad, which was sitting on the table in front of me. With a few flicks I was where she had left it – WebMD's fifth week of pregnancy. I scrolled through it.

The door to our room closed. A moment later she sat down beside me and leaned against me.

"I can help you with this," I said still looking at the screen.

"Of course you can, but obstetrics isn't your area of expertise," she said lightly, but I defended my work teasingly.

"I'm the world's foremost authority on vampire involved obstetrics cases."

She grimaced slightly and her tone turned serious as she said, "I don't know that will help in this case. I'm not like your past patient."

"Khalida said treat you like a human," I pointed out.

"Which is inaccurate as well. I'm not behaving like a human," she said with a hint of frustration.

"You're not behaving like a human?" I asked, not understanding the implication.

"That pizza is still sitting in my stomach," she mumbled.

"So we can check that off the list," I teased stroking my hand through her hair.

She bolted straight up, her eyes narrowing as she asked, "What list?"

"Human behaviors. Watching to see which ones your body adapts to. I want to know what your needs are so I can take care of you," I rattled off.

She paused and looked down, entwining her fingers into mine. She took a deep breath before she spoke. "Carlisle, I don't want to be your patient. I want to be your wife and the mother of your child, but I don't want you constantly looking at me like I'm your patient and your waiting to see what symptoms will arise."

"Esme, there's no reason that I can't be all three."

"And there's no reason that you have to be _all three_," she disputed. "There are two other doctors in this house, one of which has experience that you lack and that's delivering a vampire's baby."

"Esme…"

"Carlisle, this miracle is a one-time occurrence. If you want to worry about me or take care of me that's fine as my husband, but I don't want to be a medical wonder. I don't want to be analyzed and poked and prodded as a patient…at least not by you."

"The last thing I want to do is upset you. I want what's best for you and our child."

"Then I need you to love me. Less looking at me through the microscope and more taking in the full view like you were just doing in Renesmee's room. Accepting what is. If there're complications or problems then I will want the foremost authority on vampire involved obstetrics cases. I love "Dr. Cullen" and the greatest honor ever bestowed upon me has been the title Mrs. Cullen. I had the great honor of being let into the inner circle – to know the man beyond the title of "doctor." I know there is so much more to you and what I need is those other parts. If it is going to greatly disturb you to give up control to Edward and or Rosalie to my medical care then I won't fight you, but if I were human, you wouldn't be my physician. I would be seeing an OB-GYN. So if you want to treat me like a human put my medical care in another doctor's hands and be the support I need."

"But Khalida pointed out that I am a doctor. She entrusted your care to me," I maintained.

"And of course you will care for me. That will never change," she said softly as she brushed her hand over my cheek. "At least consider it as an option. Please?"

I nodded. I needed time. It wasn't that I didn't understand her rational, but I wanted what was best for my wife and our child…and our children. Would it be too painful for Rosalie to play the role of obstetrician? I knew she was genuinely happy and excited for Esme, but I also had lived with her for enough decades to know that she wasn't perfectly content below the surface. I worried that once this child was born that it would be too much for her. I was fearful that she and Emmett would leave us. As for Edward, it was one thing for him deliver his daughter during an emergency, it was another for him to oversee the woman that he often considered as a mother to him. How much was too much to ask?

"What about a compromise?" I could see her stiffening up to argue, so I quickly interceded. "Please listen to what I propose first before offering your rebuttal."

She backed down and looked me in the eyes; her lips were drawn into a straight line as she listened.

"Asking me to not ask how you are doing or feeling or watching over you or monitoring your condition is asking too much of me. I can't turn that part of me off especially not with you. I don't know how either Rosalie or Edward would feel about giving their mother, for all intents and purposes, regular gynecological exams. We haven't done an ultrasound yet. If you want them to administer it I'm willing to relinquish that. We haven't talked about how you want to deliver, but if you want me to hold your hand and be by your side, and if Edward and or Rosalie are willing to assist, then I'll give up being doctor that day, unless there are complications and then I am stepping in."

"Renesmee's birth was riddled with complications and Edward did fine," she rationalized.

"Esme…"

"It's fine, Carlisle. We'll talk with them. You're right. I don't want to force either of them to do anything they don't feel comfortable doing. Should we talk to them now?" she asked eagerly.

"I just got home. Renesmee is just waking up. You just woke up," I said and pressed my lips to her forehead. "Let's have a little down time. " I gently poked her stomach. "Do you need me to hold your hair?"

She groaned and buried her face against my shoulder. I couldn't help but chuckle at her. "Yes, you can have that privilege, but then I probably should hunt. It's been a few days."

I glanced toward the window. The sky was grey. "It looks like the weather should be agreeable for us to venture out."

I stood up and took her hand to help her up and led her to the bathroom. She chuckled to herself.

"What is it?"

"I just had a vision of a very pregnant me trying to take down my dinner. You'll witness the humor in it soon enough."

"You'll be beautiful as always."

Her laugh was fuller this time. I loved that sound.

"Don't you believe me?" I asked.

"I believe you, but that doesn't mean it won't be funny," she said as she lifted the toilet seat and got down on her knees.

I ran my fingers over her scalp then gathered her caramel locks in my fist as she expelled the bits of undigested pizza. With my free hand I rubbed her back. This was the act of a husband – not her doctor, her husband.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's Note<strong>

**Thank you for your patience. I have a lot on my plate right now. I changed jobs in August and have a much heavier work load. I'm working on my graduate school thesis. I'm looking to move so I can rid myself of my awful commute in the next month or so. I'm also very busy with Page to Premiere, the fansite I write for that HisGoldenEyes is now part of, as we countdown to the final Twilight movie. With so many things going on, my fan fiction writing ends up on the back burner. It's not because I don't love it; it is because to me the details matter. I want to present you with a well researched, well though out chapter every time. That takes a lot of my attention that I just haven't had enough free time to devote to it. With all this in mind, I want to give my readers a heads up that you may not see anything new from me on this story or The Esme Chronicles until after Breaking Dawn, Part 2 opens. It's been a busy summer and it's going to be an even busier fall. **

**I wish I had more time to devote to my writing, but there are only so many hours in the day. I beg for your forgiveness and your patience. Thank you for sticking with me and my stories written for the love of Esme and Carlisle.**

**Thank you to Ali and Arianna for their beta work.**

**Since I last published a chapter of M&M, I posted a one-shot called "Pride and Love." It's Edward and Bella's wedding day from Carlisle's perspective. **

**Love,**

**EsmeMomCullen, a.k.a. Amy **


	11. Chapter 11

_Esme's POV_

I looked at the pile of corpses that littered the ground around me. There were so many.

"Are you done or would you like something more substantial?" I hadn't noticed his presence downwind of me, but there Carlisle stood, leaning against a tree a mere 54 feet away with a highly amused look on his face.

"I think I may have found my strange pregnancy craving," I said with self-deprecating shake of my head and a groan.

He couldn't help but laugh and I couldn't blame him.

"Oh Esme, we better hide the evidence before one of the kids comes upon us and you will never hear the end of the great bunny massacre. I'm amazed you were able to capture so many."

"Me too," I said as I added up the victims in my head. "I was tracking a deer and next thing I know I was grabbing rabbits."

"Even with this many rabbits, you can't possibly be satisfied," he said as he began to dig a shallow grave for the dozen or so dearly departed hares.

"I'm not, but they smelled good." I pushed at his shoulder as I could see him trying to suppress a chuckle. "I chose a bunch of bunnies over a deer. I'm supposed to be eating for two, right? I would need a lot more rabbits. It's not like telling you to bring home pie or pickles or ice cream."

"Or pickles and ice cream," he taunted.

"Carlisle!" I said sourly as I wrinkled my nose at the thought.

His voice was calm and contrite as he spoke. "I'm sorry. Did the deer turn your stomach? Is it not even an option at the moment?"

"No, I just wanted the cute little woodland creatures more."

"Well we are both just full of sarcasm today, Mrs. Cullen," he teased.

"Blame it on the hormones. What's your excuse?"

He paused and appeared at a loss for words. He was weighing the right thing to say, but I relieved his anxiety.

"I'm teasing, Carlisle," I said with a sigh. He gave me a rueful smile then turned to finish the burial.

I closed my eyes and listened. I heard leaves rustling, a nearby stream flowing, insects, but there were no hearts beating. I sniffed the air trying to find the deer whose trail I had been on earlier, but it was lost to me.

"Anything?" my husband asked gently as he came up behind me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and patted my stomach. There had been no change to my appearance, but it hadn't stopped him from constantly rubbing my belly. It was sweet.

"The trail is cold," I grumbled. "We should travel with the stream and I'm sure we'll come across something larger than a bunny."

"I'll help you keep focused on something more substantial," he said with a squeeze before releasing me.

We dashed off through the forest running parallel to the water, but staying hidden among the trees. It wasn't long before I picked up the familiar scent of elk. I changed direction slightly to track it. There were several. My instincts took over as I drew closer and before the animal even knew I was near I was upon it. My teeth tore into a vein as it tried in vain to flee. Its life drained away quickly and I was sated.

Carlisle had already finished his killed and had prepared a grave for the departed animals. He lifted the body before me and disposed of it.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Much better," I said as I patted my stomach.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said as he finished hiding the evidence.

"Are you ready for the talk?" I asked when he has returned to my side. Carlisle's hand reached out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind my ear then rested gently on my cheek. I knew what I was asking of him was hard on him. "You will worry no matter what role you play, but you will also take care of me. I know this." I placed my hand over his. "Besides, they could say no way and all of this will be for naught."

"Can anyone say no to you?" he asked with a small smile on his lips.

I laughed heartily. "I believe Carlisle Cullen is certainly capable of saying 'no' to me."

"It's not easy."

"You don't make it seem difficult."

He rubbed his nose against mine. "Don't let me fool you. It takes a great amount of strength." His lips ghosted across mine before he took my hand and began the race home. I could feel my fatigue from my hunting adventures as I ran and I had to push my strides to keep up.

As we arrived, I saw Alice pulling Emmett and Jasper across the yard. "We're going for a run," she called. "Bella and Ness are at the cottage."

Emmett had a confused look on his face, but just shrugged. Jasper just shook his head. They knew better than to question Alice's decision to drag them out of the house.

Edward and Rosalie were sitting in the living room talking quietly, but stopped as we entered. Their heads turned to us. Their eyes questioned why the four of us had been left alone.

"Alice can be anything but subtle sometimes," Carlisle mumbled.

"We're assuming you two needed to talk to us about something," Rosalie said. Her eyes flickered quickly from my midriff to our faces. She was trying to remain emotionless and steady. When it came to a poker face Rosalie was the best.

"We do," I said as I took a seat, pulling Carlisle down with me.

"What is it, Carlisle? Esme?" Edward asked.

I had thought a lot over the past two weeks as to how to address this. I'm sure Edward probably already had a clue, but as this was my idea so I spoke first. "I'm in a bit of a dilemma and I wanted to request both of your assistance."

They both sat still, waiting for me to continue.

"Let me preface this before I go any further by saying that you can say 'no.'"

"Do you think she wouldn't say 'no?'?" Edward teased gesturing to Rosalie.

"Shut up, Edward," she said with a push at his shoulder.

"Edward," Carlisle warned.

I sighed dramatically and cut to the chase. "Edward, although things did not go as planned when Bella gave birth, the plan had not been for you to deliver your own child. It's not that you couldn't and in the end you had to, but the plan had been for you to be at your wife's side. You would have held her hand and encouraged her and been the supportive husband and father."

Rosalie snorted. "Yeah, sure that was the plan."

"Rosalie," I snapped.

Carlisle jumped in. "In any case, I would have been the delivering doctor so you, Edward, didn't have to be the doctor. And that's the favor we want to ask of one or both of you. Allow me to step back to hold Esme's hand throughout this process and be her husband, not her doctor." Even though we had talked it through many times it was still tough for him to relinquish the title.

Edward looked worried. "Khalida said to treat you like a human, but you're only going to get one shot at this and if something went wrong…" his voice tapered off.

"Carlisle of course would step in if there were complications," I added.

"What if there's blood?" Edward queried.

"I'll do it," Rosalie interrupted.

"Rosalie, you lost it over Bella's blood," Edward cautioned.

"One time, Edward! I have lost it one time in seventy years! I also hadn't fed in a month. You need to get over it."

"It was Bella and Renesmee!"

"And they are both just fine. I let the dog take me out before I would let myself hurt them. Do you think I would let myself starve again before attempting to deliver their baby? Do you think I would risk anything happening to Esme? She looked me straight in the eye. "I'll do it, Esme. Thank you for asking."

"It won't be too much?" I was so concerned about her, but I didn't know if asking this of her would be therapeutic or agonizing.

"Not for you. I want to help you. I want you to experience all the joy that you should experience. I know you worry about me. I worry about me some times. I would be lying if I said I wasn't having pangs of jealousy over what you have been given, but that doesn't mean I would deny you." I could see the honesty in her face. She was being open in a way that she rarely exposed. "Esme, I love you. You earned this through your good deeds and your heart, and maybe if I was a better person Khalida would have turned to me instead of you."

"Don't say that, Rosalie. You are a good person." I was so proud of her.

"But not good enough. I know that. I know my faults and my failures. I see the good you do – the good Carlisle does. Emmett and I are just not on the same level as you when it comes to goodness, but I don't regret the choices I have made by his side as part of this family. In the scheme of all of this I accept that. I can't change anything, but I can try to embrace what is happening here in our home." Her eyes met mine once again. "You deserve this, Esme. I want to support you and if Carlisle needs his hands free to hold your hand then I will do what you have asked."

"And I'll be there to help if needed," Edward chimed in.

"Thanks, boy wonder," Rosalie said with a roll of her eyes.

"Thank you, both," Carlisle interjected before Edward retorted.

"Yes, thank you so much," I said as I walked over to hug Rosalie. She reciprocated as I held her just a beat too long. When I pulled back I felt her hand land on my belly. I placed my palm over her hand and held it for a moment. "I'm on your side," she breathed.

"There are no sides this time. There is no conflict."

"If one arises, you know where I stand." She kissed my cheek and backed away. She turned to Carlisle. "Do you want to discuss her medical care?"

"We don't have to right at this moment," Carlisle said gently, but Rosalie was all business.

"Now is as good a time as any. Let's take this to your office and you can bring me up to speed on any new developments I need to know about. Doc Edward, would you like to come along?" she called over her shoulder as she headed for the stairs.

He looked from her to me. _Go_, I thought as I nodded at him.

"I'm coming," he said as he exited.

Carlisle stopped at me on his way. "Do you want to be part of this discussion?"

I shook my head. "It's just going to be a 101 course on current OB/GYN planning and procedures, right?"

"That is a way of putting it. It will take up a few hours," he said with a nod.

I felt weary from the hunt and the emotions. "I'll stay down here."

He kissed me. "I'm happy to fill you in later."

I nodded my head to agree before he slipped away up the stairs. I sat down on the sofa feeling completely exhausted as I turned on the TV. The news was on, but my eyes were bleary. It wasn't long before I laid down, resting my head on one of the throw pillows, as I let sleep win.

* * *

><p><em>Carlisle's POV<em>

It was a long afternoon and evening of teaching. Rosalie wanted to be thorough. I had to hand it to her – she wanted to be prepared for any situation just in case I wasn't there.

"I won't miss the birth of my own child, Rosalie." I affirmed to her again.

"You didn't think you would miss Renesmee's, but you remember what happened there," Rosalie stated tersely as she flipped through one of the pregnancy books on my desk.

"Those were extenuating circumstances." She knew this was the case. The situation was Bella was no win at the time. She was dying and needed blood. I wouldn't have done things differently.

"I've gotten over Carlisle not being there, Rosalie. I think it's time you move past it, too," Edward said gently. He wasn't trying to antagonize her for once. He was attempting a truce.

"Sure, as long as you never bring up my unfortunate behavior that day ever again." Rosalie had always been a negotiator.

"Only the part where Jacob took you down."

"Edward," I warned before Rosalie did the same to him that I heard Jacob did to her.

"Fine," Edward said raising his hands in a sign of peace.

Rosalie nodded then turned back to me. "I still want to be prepared for anything."

I wasn't going to argue with her. It couldn't hurt to give her every bit of knowledge I had. By the time Rosalie was satisfied with her education it was late.

"If we're finally finished here then I'm going home," Edward said as he headed out the door calling back, "Good night" as he flew down the stairs.

Rosalie lingered and didn't seem in any hurry to leave.

"Are you sure you are okay with all of this, Rosalie?" I asked.

She looked up from the book in her hand. She seemed to let down her guard as she spoke. "If by all of this you mean the medical information you have provided, yes, I feel fine. As odd as Esme's pregnancy is Khalida said it's going to be similar to a human pregnancy so the birth should be the same. If you mean the rest of all of this, I'm handling it all in my own way. If I can't have this then there is no one I would want to have it other than Esme."

"What about Bella?" Her sister-in-law had been given the blessing of a child. Didn't she deserve her?

"_What about Bella?" _I heard an edge in her voice.

"She has a child."

"She has a hybrid," she clarified as if the niece that Rosalie adored was suddenly not the little girl whose life she fought so hard to ensure was brought into this world.

"She gave birth. Renesmee is hers and Edward's," I stated defending Bella.

"Are you going to psychoanalyze me, Carlisle?"

I looked at her and then at the doorway. She could go or stay. Her face scrunched up in defeat before she went over to close the door before taking a seat. I waited for her to say whatever it was that she was holding on to.

"They didn't want her! Bella was going to sacrifice her human life to become a vampire to be with Edward. She didn't care about ever having children. Edward wanted to abort her. He didn't care about his own flesh and blood having a life at all. They just wanted each other. I love them both and I adore Renesmee, but if she didn't exist – if Bella hadn't become pregnant and she had just been changed into a vampire, she still wouldn't want a child. Meanwhile, Esme and I have always desired children. We always wanted to be mothers. You wanted nothing more than make her a mother and I know Emmett would love to be a father. So am I happy that this happened to Esme, and you, yes, of course. I am ecstatic for her as I know she would be for me if it was me instead of her. Do I think it is fair that if two couples in this family were somehow, beyond anyone's wildest dreams, against everything we know about vampires, were able to have children that the other couple was them? I find it tragic. I find it completely unfair."

It wasn't very often that Rosalie let down her guard, especially in front of me. While her strength was different than Esme's, I regarded them both as two of the strongest women I had ever come across. So when I heard the sob rising in her chest, I moved to sit by her and cautiously took her hand. She didn't pull away.

"Am I wrong, Carlisle?" she weakly asked.

"You have every right to feel what you feel."

"That is not what I asked. Am I wrong to think it's unfair?"

I understood her logic and I couldn't argue with it. She was right. As grateful as we were that Renesmee was in our lives, having a child was something Bella had been extremely willing to give up. It wasn't something Edward had ever given much thought to prior to it being inevitable. "No, you're not. You're right. It isn't fair. There are so many things about this life that are unfair and at times it feels like the unfairness just seems to pile up."

We sat in silence for a few moments and I felt her hand squeeze mine.

"Was she worried about me when she found out?" she inquired.

"Esme? Yes, very much so. She was afraid you would leave us."

"I won't leave her. Next to Emmett, there is no one in the world that means more to me than she does. I hope she realizes that."

"You and Esme have a very special bond. She loves you so much."

"I don't want to be a cause of stress for her during this time. It's not good for her or the baby. I want to help and support her."

"And you are supporting her. I can assure you that your willingness to deliver the baby lifted a weight off her."

"I would never want to burden her."

"I know, Rosalie."

"No, you didn't," she stated calling my bluff. "You know my faults, Carlisle. I am selfish and stubborn."

I cut her off. "But you also care deeply about every person in this family and you don't have to prove anything to me right now. You have displayed your love for Esme."

"And you."

I paused. Rosalie rarely used the word love when it came to me. I knew that over the decades she had found a way to forgive me for bringing her into this life, but at times the resentment still arose. We respected each other, and while I loved her as a friend and daughter, she was not as reciprocating of her feelings. Several times she had voiced her happiness for Esme over this pregnancy, but had not been as supportive of me.

My hesitation drew her eyes to mine.

"I haven't been as accommodating to you about this situation as I should have been, but I hope that being Dr. McCarty will show you that I do care."

She leaned over and hugged me.

"I'm happy for you, too, Carlisle."

I held her.

"Thank you, Rosalie."

We separated and she stood up. "You're not too bad at the father thing. You're great at the leader thing. I think you are going to do just fine."

I smiled at her. It was generous praise.

We could tell from the footfalls on the stairs that Emmett was on his way toward us. As we reached the door we found him on the landing and he wasn't alone.

"She fell asleep," he loudly whispered as he carried Esme in his arms. "I was going to put her in your bed. Do you want to take her?"

I nodded and took her from his arms.

"Good night, Carlisle," Rosalie said quietly as she took her place in Emmett's arms.

"Good night," I said with a grin in their direction before carrying Esme up the next set of stairs. There wasn't any visible noticeable weight gain, but she was slightly heavier. I pulled down the bedding before placing her on the sheets. She stirred as her head touched the pillow.

"Everything alright with Rosalie?" she mumbled.

"She's good," I said as I smoothed her hair back, kissing her forehead as I pulled the blankets up over her. I kicked off my shoes as I walked around the other side of the bed.

"She's wonderful," she said dreamily before descending back into land of nod.

"She really is," I agreed to myself as I watched my wife dream.

* * *

><p><strong>AUTHOR'S NOTE - I hope not to leave you again for so long! It's been a lot of writer's block and not a lot of time available to work through it. It feels good to be back writing fan fiction. Thanks for your support! XOXO <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

_Esme's POV_

As I awoke I knew it had to be early by the sounds or lack of them. Renesmee wasn't here. A muffled movement from a bedroom below told me Rosalie and Emmett were enjoying some alone time. The early morning birds were singing, but I could hear an owl who had not yet made his way to bed. As quite often was the case, the rain was bouncing off the roof and windows.

I was surprised to catch my favorite scent so strong and so close. He had been working the overnight shift and it didn't seem like it was late enough for him to be here yet. Without even looking I rolled over and wrapped an arm over his waist, huddling up against him.

"Why are you here so early?" I muttered.

He let out a good humored chuckle. "It's 7:58 AM. It's not raining hard at the moment, but there's a storm coming in and it has the sky rather dark this morning."

"Oh," I murmured. "Does that mean I should get up?" I was awake, but not feeling any urges to get out of bed.

He laughed again. "Only if you want to. I don't see any reason you have to jump out of bed if you don't feel like it." His hand brushed over my hair. "Whatever you wish you may do, darling."

I peeked open an eye and looked up toward his face. He was mostly sitting up, but relaxed against the headboard with his iPad still in his hand. He must have changed when he arrived home because his oxford shirt and tie had been replaced with a polo shirt. I scooted up so my head was closer to shoulder than his waist. He wrapped his free arm around me pulling me close and placing a kiss on my forehead.

"What are you reading?" I asked with a nod toward the iPad.

"WebMD's Pregnancy Center for Weeks 9 through 12. I'm reading up on what I know you'll be reading," he said with a half-teasing tone.

"Does it say anything about when I'll start being less tired?"

"No, but usually second trimester pregnant women start to get their energy back."

"I feel like I am sleeping all the time. I get up and I immediately want to take a nap and I often do!"

"Well you do have about 90 years of sleep to catch up on," he joked.

"True, but I feel like I'm neglecting our family, our home, and you."

"Esme that is the last thing you should be worried about. We are fine. The house is fine. You need to just take care of yourself and our baby and if that means sleeping 24 hours a day we'll survive."

"Thank you," I said as I curled my fingers around the fabric of his shirt and relaxed to let sleep return, but was interrupted.

"Esme, sweetheart, can I ask you a question?" he asked with caution and curiosity in his tone.

I opened my eyes and looked up again. "You sound ominous. What is it?"

"I was wondering…" he trailed off.

I was intrigued and I sat up. "Carlisle, you can ask me anything."

He looked at me lovingly and brushed my hair from my cheek, tucking it behind my ear. "What do you dream about?"

I couldn't help, but laugh. "I was wondering when you were going to ask me that."

"Really?"

"Yes, after all, when I could dream 'Dr. Cullen' often starred in my dreams."

"And do I still?"

"No, I dream about the fantasy – Chris Hemsworth," I said dead seriously with a shrug. His face fell and I couldn't let him stay hurt for long. And I leaned in to kiss his cheek. "I'm teasing. Of course I dream about you. You are my fantasy and my reality and the only man I ever want."

He looked relieved and pleased. I kissed him again to reassure him, but this time on the lips. "And what happens in these dreams? Do you remember them clearly?" he asked.

"Not always, but there are flashes…moments that stay with me. Sometimes I remember everything. I've seen you beaming with a swaddled baby in your arms. I've seen you tossing a baseball with a little blond boy. I've seen you pushing a little girl on a swing as she laughed and yelled to push her higher."

"So she's like her mother?"

"Why do you say that?"

"The girl who climbed high into trees?"

"Ah, I see."

"What else?"

I paused. I wanted to share one with him that made me emotional and I feared it would overwhelm him. "I saw you walking down a trail with a fishing pole and a little boy carrying the same."

"Fishing?"

"He looked like Edward – when he was young. Just like the pictures, but in color with a tussle of still unruly bronze hair and those green eyes you speak of. He looked to be around 8 or 9."

His eyes looked wistfully far away as he tried to imagine what I saw in my dreams. "That sounds like a wonderful dream, but truly is just that. I doubt our child will have his crazy hair color or those eyes with our genes. He or she, God willing, will resemble you."

"And you."

"Well you are the better looking of the two of us. So favoring you would be a blessing for our little one."

"Stop it. You, my dear husband, are beautiful."

"What else?"

I smirked. "Sometimes I have dreams of us doing naughty things."

"Naughty things?" His amusement was endearing.

"Well as I said you are the fantasy that became my reality." I danced my fingers over his bare forearm. "I've dreamt of us here…in the woods…my back pressed against the sand."

He chuckled. "It wasn't all that long ago that was reality."

"I know. It is crazy now to think that we were making a baby."

"Even if we knew I don't think we would have done anything differently," he said as he hooked his arm under me and hoisted me onto his lap.

"We haven't been naughty in sometime," I said as I played with a button on his shirt.

"Not since we found out about the little miracle," he said with a slide of his hand over my stomach.

"I'm sorry. I've just been so tired all the time."

"I'm not upset. There's no reason to apologize. We haven't even talked about it."

"But we should…talk about it. It's been six weeks since we last had sex. We should have talked about it already. How do you feel about pregnancy sex?"

He gave me a self-deprecating, slightly embarrassed smile. "Are you asking me for my medical opinion?"

"Yes, but I also want your husband opinion too."

"According to Khalida we are to treat your pregnancy as we would any human's. Barring any complications that would impede, humans can continue to have sex when the woman is pregnant. As your husband, I defer to your comfort, wants, desires and needs. I know you have been very tired and wasn't going to broach the subject without you making the first move."

"That's very thoughtful of you. So have you been reading up on tips and tricks while waiting for me to make a move?"

"My dearest, I work in a small town hospital. I've had to wear the OB/GYN hat on multiple occasions. I am well read and ready to counsel at a moment's notice on intimacy during pregnancy."

"So as usual I'm in good hands."

"As _always_, you are in great hands."

"Thank you for clarifying," I said with a chuckle.

My nightgown had ridden up and his hand slid over my bare thigh. "Are you in the mood to let me take the greatest care of you?"

I thought about it. His hand touched my thigh. My hand tucked in between the fabric of his shirt and his chest. I felt the tightness of a sob in my chest and my face pucker with the realization that I felt nothing.

He couldn't miss the expression and immediately hugged me to him. "It's alright, Esme. Many women don't feel up for sex during the first trimester. Your body is experiencing a lot of change, even more so for you. Some women don't want sex at all during pregnancy."

I felt a flood of guilt and sadness. "But I feel bad that I'm not being intimate with you," I choked out as I tried to suppress a cry.

"My love, I'm fine. I'm more than fine. You're carrying our child. When I am joined with you I know the meaning of heaven, but I'm finding that heaven is surrounding me right now. Yes, I love being intimate with you, but I am more than willing to give that up for your happiness…for your health and wellbeing. The last thing I would ever do is force you into an act of intimacy if you are not up for it. Don't be sad, my goddess. I'm perfectly content."

"So you don't want me?" As soon as the words came out of my mouth I felt like it was a stupid question.

"I always want you. I always desire you. I also want your satisfaction. I want your enjoyment. I want you to be pleasured and feel cherished and loved. If you don't want to have sex then I don't want to have sex. If you don't feel like having sex again until long after the baby is born, I'll be alright. Don't ever feel like you have to have sex out of some obligation to me."

"I love you," I whispered as I wished my body would wake up and respond to his words.

"I love you, too – always and forever," he said as he lifted my chin to place a gentle kiss on my lips.

I leaned my head against his shoulder as he held me and listened to the rain fall.

* * *

><p><em>Carlisle POV<em>

I held Esme's hand as Rosalie picked up the transducer.

"Are you ready?" she asked and looked at Esme who shook her head rapidly in consent.

She looked at the monitor once more before she placed it down on Esme's gel slathered abdomen. Her face was composed as she watched the screen and moved to make an adjustment. After a minute of silence her eye caught mine, and I knew. She tried making another adjustment, but she couldn't see anything as I feared would be the case.

"What do you see, Rosalie?" Esme finally asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I can't see anything," she said and turned to me. "Do you want to take a look?"

I nodded and patted Esme's hand before moving over so I could see the monitor. Rosalie moved the transducer and nothing visualized. "Try a little lower," I suggested. She moved it down and side to side. Nothing.

"You can't see?" Esme asked, looking for a confirmation. Our bodies were not good conductors for many of human diagnostic imagining tools. I thought that maybe with all the changes Esme's body was going through that the ultrasound could work. Nothing had changed though. It couldn't pierce her vampire skin.

"It's not penetrating your skin," Rosalie said gently even as she tried one more time. She looked at the blank screen again. "I'm sorry," she said with frustration.

Esme reached for her wrist. "It's alright, Rosalie," she said quietly, but with no sadness in her voice. I looked over at her face. "This thing," she said waving her hand at the equipment, "didn't exist the first time I had a child. I hoped it might work, but knew there was more than a good chance that it wouldn't."

"You're taking this rather well," I said admiringly. Her hormones had definitely been giving her a run for her money over the last few weeks. She would start crying at what would seem to be the most insignificant things. Her humor seemed to be lacking completely at times and at other time she would be in hysterics. She could be clingy and moments later push me away and then would be back in my arms just as quickly. I just went with it and encouraged the rest of the family to be understanding. Jasper offered his gift, but Esme refused.

"_It's just hormones. It's nothing I can't handle," _she told him.

This was after Alice had calmed her down the week before when she went to get dressed one morning and found that one of her favorite skirts was tight. She promptly took her shopping again with Rosalie and Jasper in tow – Rosalie for style and moral support and Jasper for bag handling and emergency calming. He told me later that there was only one time that he had to use his gift, embarrassingly during maternity bra shopping.

The first trimester was almost over – just few more weeks.

The ultrasound was slightly pre-mature. She was in her tenth week and I would have waited another week or two, but with the equipment's arrival that morning we were anxious to see what it would show. As soon as Rosalie and I had it set up Esme was on the table.

"You might as well pack it up and send it off before it gets dusty," Esme said as she reached for a nearby towel to wipe off the gel. Rosalie picked up a second one to assist her.

"Even without it, I'll still take good care of you," Rosalie said.

Esme met her eyes. "I know, Rose. I have complete faith in you." She slid off the table. "I'm just going to take a bath to get the rest of it off."

"Let me run it for you," I offered.

"No, I'm fine, Carlisle. Really. You're donating this equipment to a clinic in need. It might as well get put to use as quickly as possible since we won't need it. I can run my own bath."

She disappeared out of the room.

I turned to Rosalie. "She's not fine," she said flatly as she shut the machine down. "She will be. She is. But she's not."

"Rosalie…what does that mean?"

"She meant what she said. She is okay with not seeing the baby on an ultrasound. We talked about it a couple days ago. She is so fragile and volatile right now. I know she can handle a lot, but her emotional state is weak. It's the damn hormones."

"I know," I sighed. "But she seems okay. She hasn't been particularly good at hiding or holding back her emotions. She's rather…newborn like."

A smile broke across Rosalie's lips. "That is a good comparison, but you should go check on her. I can take care of the equipment."

"Thanks, Rosalie," I said as I headed out the door.

The water was still running as I entered our bedroom. I heard her suck back a cry from the bathroom, reacting to my entrance.

"Esme…" I called out as I headed toward the bathroom door. She was sitting next to the tub in her underwear with her head in her hands.

"I don't know why I'm crying," she said before I could say something as prosaic as 'what's wrong?' "I'm really okay without the ultrasound. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. I know I'm pregnant. My body is changing. I feel ridiculous for crying. Am I even crying about the silly ultrasound? I really don't like pregnancy hormones!"

_What could I say in response to that?_ I was hoping Alice would come in to stop me if the wrong thing was about to come out of my mouth.

"I don't know what I can say to make you feel better as you just self-diagnosed yourself. All I can do is love you and turn off the water before the tub overflows," I said as I leaned over to turn off the faucet.

Her face froze for a second and I waited for more cries, but instead she started laughing. "You must think I'm crazy."

"I think you are Esme and you are perfection and I love you through cries and laughs. Now let me give you a bath."

"I don't deserve you," she said as she stood to strip off her remaining clothing.

For the first time I got a good look at her with the little weight she had gained. I could see it and I was embarrassed to say the man in me saw it too. Esme was always stunning. She was curvy, womanly, sexy, and I adored every inch of her body. In the 90 years since she first disrobed in front of me and the thousands of times she had done so since then, she never changed, but she never failed to excite me. For the first time ever, something was different and I swallowed my guilt at finding it so appealing at such an inappropriate time. She needed emotional support. She needed comfort. What I didn't need was an erection. I took her hand and helped into the tub and picked up her body wash and sponge. Even at this angle, I could see the change. _Get a grip, Carlisle_, my mind screamed as she relaxed back against the porcelain. As I ran the sponge over her arm, I prayed that the second trimester would bring peace to her emotions and quite selfishly, an increase in her sex drive. If it didn't, I had a feeling I would be taking many lonely cold showers.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note: Thank you to sweetishbubble for beta-ing on her own. XOXO<strong>_


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